


Whether you like it or not, It ain't gonna stop.

by skyblue993



Series: Whether you like it or not, It ain't gonna stop [1]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Attraction, Hate, Love, Lust, M/M, OOC, Opposites Attract, Other, Secret Relationship, Stevens business company, office life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:59:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 32,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6057484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There's a thin line between hate and lust.<br/>It still amazes me how sometimes that line can be crossed.. it happens to me everytime I'm looking at him" - Connor Stevens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title of this fic from the song: "Radar" By Britney Spears.  
> This fic is inspired by the book :"Beautiful Bastard" By Christina Lauren.

Connor's POV.

 

There's a thin line between hate and lust.

It still amazes me how sometimes that line can be crossed.. it happens to me everytime I'm looking at him.

I hate everything about him.

How he swings his hips teasingly on his way to his desk. How he seems so innocent and harmless, but I'm well aware that his intentions are not so candid and pure when he's staring intently at his computer screen, biting his upper lip.

See, Sometimes he's just sitting at his desk distractly biting a pencil between his slightly parted lips and he glances up at me, on my way out of my office. His candid, apparentely innocent dark eyes stare into mine and a mischievous smirk slowly forms on his lips. Or when we share the elevator ride, and it gets too crowded , and he usually steps back until his back his pressed against my chest, accidentally rubbing onto my...

Well, in that occasions I don't exactly “Hate” Him. That's a strong word.. and trying to suppress a boner doesn't exactly fit in that category.

When we talk, that's the problem.

Jude Jacob has been my assistant for years and throughout these years we never exactly got along. We have this thing.

“I don't pay you for slacking it off Jacob” He lifts up his eyes from the phone screen with an annoyed look on his face as I'm walking past his desk. He doesn't say anything, but if looks could kill.. I would be definitely dead by now.

I smile as usual, stepping in my office and I hang up my coat on the coat rack next to the door. I smile, because I don't have to look on my desk to know that my favourite coffee has already been delivered by my awesome secretary.

I sit at my desk  taking a sip from my, still warm, coffee cup and I let out a spontaneous laugh, shaking my head.. this guy will be the ruin of me.

 

_I was in Europe for business, when Jude Jacob has been hired for this company._

_He was trained by my brother Jesus, and he always praised himself throught the phone saying that he did an excellent job into training this guy and he was ready for the biggest challenge of his life : working for me._

_I've always been a bit harsh with my previous assistants, because the point is to make my work easier._

_I wanted an efficient assistant, that knew me well and executed my needs._

_I was a bit reluctant about this guy .. I lost my hopes into finding a good assistant and the first impression of this guy definitely didn't help his case._

_It was my first day back in LA, I was feeling a bit dazed off and tired by the Jet lag, and the crowded elevator wasn't helping. At all._

_There was this guy next to me, that just couldn't keep his mouth shut._

_"So.." The girl next to him said with a teasing smile._

_"The jackass is coming back today" She laughed at this guy's face._

_"Stop it, Taylor" He retorted, rolling his eyes._

_"What?" She laughed "Are you afraid he's going to make your world a living hell?"_

_"I'm not afraid of this guy, he can bite my ass" He sassed back, staring right in front of him._

_I let out a giggle, trying to be subtle._

_"I bet he would" She retorted with a wink, and then she added " I heard he's into man" she said teasingly to this guy._

_He glared at her with a dead serious expression on his face._

_"Listen Taylor, I heard about this guy.. andalthought I highly appreciate your attempts into setting me up with every single man on this planet, I'm not gonna fall for an heartless asshole that treats his assistants like  shit, just because he can't get laid"_

_My eyes widened, and I didn't have the time to process what he just said because everything else happened so fast._

_I stepped out of the elevator, and as soon as I saw him getting out as well.. walking towards my office's directions, I started to put the pieces together._

_"Oh shit"_

_He sat down at his desk right outside my office.. and he finally looked up at me. His face, was priceless._

_His lips were slightly parted until his mouth was agape, he looked like the air completely left his lungs._

_He swallowed, getting up from his desk._

_"Um... Sir.." He awkwardly stepped around the desk, standing diligently in front of me._

_"Sir, I'm Jude Jacob.. and I will be your assistant" He managed to smile, even thought it seemed like a frown._

_I kept glaring at him, until he felt under so much pressure to make him gulp._

_Our eyes meet, and in that moment I felt conflicted, between the desire of make him regret every single word that left his mouth in the elevator and bending him over on that desk and made him shut the hell up in not so conventional ways._

 

 

There's a soft knock on my door, and I looks up from my computer screen.

“Come in”.

Jude walks in, holding some paper and a pizza box, I bit my lips from smiling widely.

“I brought youe lunch, and there's your appointment's schedule for the day.”

“ Good job Jacob.” He rolls his eyes from underneath the thin glasses he's wearing, he looks like a nerd. A very sexy nerd.

“ _Get a grip Stevens”_ I Clear my throat, trying to look unaffected by the fact that he actually had the thought of going to my favourite pizza place, buying me lunch.

“You're dismissed” it comes out spountaneously out of my lips, seeing him standing like that.. in front of my desk, fiddling with his hands.

He lets out a soft sigh.

“Yes sir” Before turning around, heading towards the door.

It happens like in slow motion, the pizza gets quickly forgotten. I can't help but stare at the glorious movements of his long skinny legs, definitely rocking in that tight black pants, that just.. define very well, I might add, his plump ass.

_“Don't look, Don't look, Don't look”_ my brain screams at me, but I can't dislodge my eyes from his ass.

He turns around at the last second, his hand still resting on the doorknob, and he looks up at me. The problem is that I'm still not looking at his face and he notices that. He gives a devious smile, before opening the door and walking out.

_Busted._

 

“Hey Judicorn” I can clearly hear my sister's bright voice, greeting Jude, through the thin wall's office.

She storms in, without even knocking, not that I'm surprised at this point.

“Hi Con” She smiles warmly, sinking down on the leather couch with a loud sigh.

“Long day?”

She nods, stepping off of her high ,very painful like, Louboutin heels.

My sister Mariana works in the fashion department. She's like the only one that didn't want to work in the family business.

“ _I want to do it on my own”_ she kept repeating under our father's pressure into having his whole family working in this business.

This company belongs to my father Adam Stevens, and he put all his money, blood and sacrificies on this.

My brother Jesus works here too, and it's both easier and harder working with my family members.

It's easier because they're my family. We don't judge each other, we try to work through the problems together. We're a team.

The hardest part? That when the working day is over, work follows you at home.

That's the part I dread the most every day. After a stressful working day, I want to chill and clear my mind. But when I get home... but they keep talking about work, and clients and meeting, and everything related to that.

“So....” I roll my eyes at that tone, because I know what she's going to ask.

“No Mariana” I cut her off sharply, pretending to look at my computer screen with the hope of avoiding this conversation.

She gets up from the couch, walking barefoot towards my desk sitting the edge of it and staring intently at my face.

“You're hiding something from me ” I turn my attention towards her, and she's looking at me suspiciously, like she's trying to read right through me, with her narrowed eyes.

“Don't laugh at me Connor!” She says with an offended pitch in her sharpy voice.

“I'm sorry, but your face....”

“You're hiding your man from me!” She accuses, eyebrows furrowed together, and that makes me laugh even more.

“Okay... I'll admit...” Her pout falls from her face. She stares at me expectantly, eyes starting to fill with brightness and hope.

“I'm hiding someone....” she gasps, reaching out with her hand toward mine, eyes dreamy and teary.

“He's actually hiding under this desk..” Her smile falls off her face, and she snorts “ You kinda interrupted something, you know?!” She slaps me on my arm , getting up from the desk.

“You're an ass! You'll never find a man if you keep thinking with your dick” She says annoyed, rolling her eyes and storming towards the couch. She snorts while putting her shoes on, And she glares at me one last time with a pout on her lips, before putting her jacket on.

“Oh Come on, Mariana.” My laugh doesn't help my case, she turns her back towards me heading towards the door.

“Love you!” She snorts at my display of affection, but I can see a soft smile forming on her lips so.. I guess, I'm close to her forgiveness.

She slams the door shut, and I hear her complaining with Jude.

“He's an ass!”

“....And the sun came up, and the sky is blue.. ” I can hear Jude repying to her. The unspoken “Hello” loud and clear through his voice makes me gasp and amuses me at the same time.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Jude's POV.

 

Throughout the years I've spent working for this company I've never been late. Never. Not once.

Today due to circumstances beyond my control , I came to work one an hour late.

“I'm S-”

“.... and yet, here you are.. I'm not paying you for slacking it off Jacobs!”

It's not the first time he's said this particular thing to me.

_Me? Slacking it off?! Bitch, please._

“Mr. Stevens if you could let...”

“I don't want to hear your lame excuses Jacob” he cuts me off, with severe expression across his features and hands carefully resting on his hips, standing in front of my desk.

If he'd let me talk, this son of a …

“Connor” We both turn around, hearing the confused voice of Adam Stevens standing few feets away from us.

“What's going on?”

The asshole shakes his head letting out a loud sigh of frustration.

_He's the one frustrated now?!_

It makes me roll my eyes, and he notices.. He seems even more pissed.

“I.. I had some family emergency, and I came to work an hour late and...”

“So what?” Adam asks, addressing to Connor this time.

“Dad..”  
“Let's have a chat in your office, Connor” He says with voice cold and disappointed. It doesn't sounds fun at all.

He diligently follows his father into his office and before closing the door he throws one last, pissed, look at me.

They both get out of the office 10 minutes later, and I can't help but notice how Connor is walking behind his father looking fragile and scared.

“Connor, what did you want to say to Jude?”  
Connor steps forward, not looking at me in the eyes. He rolls his eyes though.

“It's okay if you came to work late, today”  
“And?” His father says, urging him to keep talking.

“And...” He looks at his father, pleadingly. “It's really necessary, dad?”

His father stares at him with a face that allows no objections.

He turns his face towards me, and this time he looks directly into my eyes. He's an ass, but when his eyes meet mine it feels like the time stopped.

“...And I appreciate, the hard work you do for this company”

“Thanks , Mr. Stevens.. and I'm sorry for being late, it won't happen again”

He nods, smiling.. and when he does, it's like feelings fireworks sparkling through all over me. I lower down my gaze, because just looking at him smiling like this makes me melt into a puddle. I feel my cheeks burning, and I'm probably blushing right now..

He clears his throat and I lift up my gaze. His father left, leaving us alone.

“I'll.. go back to work”

He nods and he looks at me one last time, shaking his head, disappearing few seconds later into his office.

 

Going to his favourite pizza place and buying him lunch it's not included in my contract. It's off my working duties.

But.. see, there's this subtle, undetectable hint of a smile on Connor's lips everytime I bring him pizza that just gets me everytime. He tries to refrain it by biting his lips, but I know for a fact that is there. The look of pure happiness into his eyes makes it worth the half hour walk to the pizza place every day.

“Come in”

I step into his office , and he looks at me from distance sitting behind his huge black desk.

Here it is..

His eyes shine so brightly that could lit up the whole room, and how he's biting his lips.. mmm, I Just want to taste it.

“ _Stop it Jacob”_

I shake my head, like to clear it from the dirty thoughts, laying the pizza box on his desk.

“Here's your lunch”  
He reaches out to the pizza box, opening it and taking out a slice.

It's a regular day. I'm gonna go back to my desk, and he's gonna eat pizza all alone, in this huge office. But, As I'm walking towards the door, he asks for the first time ever:

“Do you want to have lunch with me?”

 

 

We're sitting on his huge couch with the pizza box carefully laying on the coffee table across from us.

“Thanks.. for, you know, sharing the pizza”

He snorts, licking up some mozzarella off his fingers.

Oh damn.

He pulled off his jacket, and he looks ravishing with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows. He never looked sexier that today, Or maybe... I just never saw him in this attire.

He looks more layback, more human.

“Why are you staring at me, Jacob?” His bitchy voice takes me back on planet Earth and I just shake my head, picking up another slice of pizza.

He looks at me opening my mouth and biting the slice full of mozzarella and tomatoes, some of it ending up near the corner of my mouth. I don't give a damn, I just keep eating the heavingly tasting pizza. But He does care, apparently, because he reaches out with his thumb at my face, wiping the stains off my mouth.

In that moment, the already tense and awkward air.. becomes even more tense. I feel my breath catching in my throat and I finally look up at him. 

I didn't even realize he'd shifted closer to me. His face is few inches apart from mine, and the proximity makes my heart beating at a scary pace.

 His thumb is still pressed against my mouth, and he lifts down his gaze on it.. staring at it, with deep, hungry eyes. His lips part slightly, and he lets out a short intake of breath finally lifting up his eyes, fixating on mine.

I suddenly feel hot. It's like my body is about to melt in any seconds.. I feel sweat running down my back, and sparks spreading throught my body. It's like my body is made of a wild fire.. and he's the only one that can put it out.

His thumb is quickly replaced by his hand, resting gently on my cheek while our body shift closer to each other against our control, just like two magnets.

My hands stay idle, clinging on the couch seat as he laces his hand behind my neck pulling me closer. Just hearing his breath on my lips, makes me feel a rush of arousal I've never felt before in my entire life.

It's like he's dragging out the inevitable, like he's savouring the moment that precede our lips To finally touch.

I close my eyes, and I can feel him darting out his tongue sensually licking off the traces of pizza from my mouth. I let out a gasp at the feeling of his mouth running on my skin... But suddenly, the moment is over.

I open my eyes, and he's pulling away from me, standing up from his sitting position on the couch.

“Um..”

“Lunch time is over.. you should get back to work” he cuts me off with voice cold like ice, turning his back towards me and looking outside the huge windows glass.

I'm still sitting on his couch, freezed by the shifts of the moment trying to put the pieces together of what just happened.

I finally get up, shaking my head in disappontment and saying:

“Your wish is my command, Mr. Stevens” Before slamming the door shut behind me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos :) you're the best :)  
> Let me know what you think of this chapter :)


	3. chapter 3

Connor's Pov.

 

The flashbacks of what happened haunt me for the most part of the working day.

I don't understand what is wrong with me.. I can't find the reason why I acted like I did.

Not only was completely unprofessional. It felt like my brain was off, like my hands and my mouth were moving against my control.

I can't focus, I can only think about his parted lips, his short intake of breath, the taste of pizza I licked off his lips...

I feel my cheeks blushing, and my breath coming out in short pants.

I need to get it together, this can't be happening.

I.. I hate him! He makes me feel vulnerable, and fragile. it takes just one look from him or one of his shy subtle smile to tear down the wall I've built around myself as my armor during all these years. 

I feel like I need some air, so I get up from my desk chair heading outside. Of course when I open the door though, I'm welcomed by Jude's ass full on display peeking out from underneath his desk.

"Jacob. What are you doing?!"

 

Jude's Pov.

I let out a loud sigh of relief on my way out of his office. It felt like the room was completely deprived of oxygen.. Or maybe was just the very steamy air in there that made it so difficult to breathe.

I sit down at my desk chair, staring blankly for the most part of my working shift, at the computer screen.

"Way to be productive, Jacob" I can almost hear him saying.

I give a significant look at his office's door, thinking about what happened.

Did he really lick my mouth?

I shake my head in frustration and the sudden movement causes my glasses to fall on the floor.

"Damn" I try to crouch down as carefully as possible, since with no glasses my sight is completely blurred. The confined space makes it very difficult to crawl down, so I try my best to fold my ,very long, legs to make it easier for me to move through the tiny space.

I let out another curse crawling down under the desk blindly patting on the floor with my hand in search of my glasses.

Then, _his_ voice makes me jump.

"Jacob, what are you doing?!" his voice startles me so much that I instinctively throw my head up, hitting it hard against the edge of the desk.

"Ouch!" Ok, now I'm blind and I will probably have some brain damage to deal with.

I try to get up, as carefully as possible. My head hurts, and my eyes are closed for the pain, even though it wouldn't make that much of a difference at this point.

I feel his arm holding me up.

"Are you okay Jacob?" I open my eyes, and even though my sight is fuzzy, his face is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

“Okay maybe I hit my head incredibly hard” I realize.

He helps me sitting down, and he asks with a laugh, watching me rubbing my head:

"What were you doing under your desk?"

"Um.. my glasses fell.. " He nods and in a heartbeat he's crouching down on the floor.

"Wh-" 

"I'll find them for you" He cuts me off, crawling under the desk.

I can't help it, I mean.. he's pratically crawled at my feet. His head and upper body disappears through the darkness underneath the desk and his very plump ass is on full view. I can't help it.

"Oh, I'm glad you find this so amusing Jacob." He says, catching me on laughing.

I'm so focused on his "Mission" , and okay his ass, that I don't even notice his sister coming in.

The moment I lift my eyes up, she's standing in front of my desk.

"There you are" Connor says with voice filled with satisfaction from underneath the desk, and Mariana of course takes notice. 

The way her arms cross to her chest, her face lighting up and a mischievous smirk appearing on her lips.. she totally gets it wrong.

She clears her throat " I'm so sorry to interrupt you " 

Connor immediately gets up. Let's just say that his flushed cheeks, his lips parted in surprise and his messed up hair are not helping the case.

Her smile widens.

"Mariana.. that was not was it looked like " Connor makes it clear, she raises her hand like to interrupt him.

"No need to explain Connor.. everyone has its kink."

Our eyes widen at the exact same time, and I feel my cheeks getting warmer from the embarassment.

"M-Mariana!" 

She keeps throwing at us these knowingly looks, like she's keeping our secret.. unbelievable.

"It's okay Con.. " 

"It's true Mariana.. I dropped my glasses and... Connor..." My eyes widen, realizing that I just said his name. He turns his face to look at me, and I can't quite read his expression. It's like someone kicked him in the stomach, that's what it seems to me. Mariana keeps smirking at the scene developing in front of her hopeful eyes.

I clear my throat swallowing and trying my best to avoid their eyes.

"... I mean, Mr. Stevens helped me. "

She just nods, still smiling.

"Anyway... I just want to remind you of Peterman's retirement party tonight " She says addressing to Connor, even though the invitation is extended to all the employees of the company.

Connor nods, stepping around my desk grabbing her by the elbow, dragging her into his office.

"Ughh!" My hands dig through my hair sighing loudly in frustration throwing my head backwards, momentarily forgetting about the "desk incident" from 10 minutes ago. It hurts, but doesn't hurt more than the constricting feeling in my chest.


	4. Chapter 4.

 

 

Connor's pov.

 

It feels like an endless streams of awkwards moments, and my sister wont stop blabbering about it.

“Oh come on! I know you're crushing on him” She teased this afternoon, after I dragged her into my office.

“Stop it with all of this nonsense!”

“Connor, I saw what I saw” that made me laugh and raising an eyebrow at the same time.

“And what did you see?”

“There's chemistry, don't deny it”

“There's not”

_there is._

“Yeah yeah yeah” She said rolling her eyes and coming closer to me.

“See you tonight” She said leaning in to kiss my cheek, before getting out of the office.

I let out a groan.

“ _I'm so screwed”_

 

Tonight we'll celebrate Peterman, our oldest employee, retirement.

We set the party up in the huge conference room, and everyone has been invited so.. I'll see..

“Jude!” Mariana yells. Her voice bright and cheerful.

He approaches us and I feel a strange constrincting feeling in my chest at the sight of him with this girl clinging to his arm.

“Good evening” He says politely, avoiding my eyes.

“This is Daria” He says, so Mariana shakes her hand and I do too. Because I'm a gentleman and regardless the painful pang in my stomach I will act like one.

“Nice to meet you”

“ Mr. Stevens"  Jude greets me, completely polite and detached.

“Good evening Jacob” Our interactions stops there, with a polite nod of our heads and awkward stares afterwards.

 

“Who is that girl?” Mariana whispers in my ear, taking a sip of her champagne.

“I have no idea” I reply truthfully, staring at them from distance.

They are talking to Peterman who seems to act like a rockstar, pumped about this party and being the guest of honor.

I take a look at her. She's cute actually. She has this cascade of dark curls and dark eyes.. she seems like the kind of girl ready to get married and have kids.

“She's definitely not his girlfriend” Mariana points out and that makes me laugh.

“It's true.. he doesn't look at her the way he looks at you”

“Could you please let it go?!”

“ let it go what?” My brother Jesus joins us and intrudes in the conversation. I give Mariana a deathful warning glare.

“The fact that Connor....” My eyes widen and I cut her off with the first thing coming across my mind.

“....Needs to pee, excuse me”

I hear them laughing, and I take another flùte of champagne from the waitress before heading away. I don't know where, but as long as I'm away from Mariana I'll be fine.

She keeps getting into my head, I can't take it anymore.. it's bad enough that I have to see him everyday , now watching showing off this girl.. My head is about to explode. I need air.

 

I'm standing outside leaning on the balcony railing, observing the bright lights of the city underneath my feet, when I hear someone approaching me from behind. I don't have to turn around to know that it's him. I can tell by his scent. his unforgettable, intoxicating scent.

“Enjoying the view?” He asks, leaning against the balcony railing right next to me.

I turn my face towards his, losing myself in the depth of his brown eyes, lighted up by the moonlight.

“Yes, very.”

He blushes, clearing his throat.

“You're not wearing your glasses”

He smiles, looking at the beautiful view ahead of us.

“Yeah.. I'm wearing contact lenses”

“You look good” I almost bit my tongue, it slips out against my control.

He blushes even more and he bits his lips,  I feel my chest tightening at the sight.

“Thanks Boss” He says smirking and it goes straight to my dick.

An awkward tense silence fells on us. Then it comes out spontanously out of my lips.

“So, that girl..”

“Daria” He quickly corrects me.

“Yeah, Daria... she's your girlfriend?” He burst out in laughers like I've just said the most amusing jokes of all the times.

“Oh.. I'm sorry” He keeps laughing at the confused frown on my face. He finally sobers up after a while.

“Anyway, No.. she's not exactly my type” he puts enphasis on _“My Type”_ For some odd reasons, looking straight into my eyes.

I feel my pulse racing.. I want to ask, but then it feels like crossing a line. I'm his boss for Christ sake.

“You already crossed a line when you licked off his face” My brain reminds me, and I feel guilty because it was totally unprofessional.. and I'm glad he didn't report my unprofessional behaviour to the HR department and that makes me think.. maybe he liked it?

I shake my head and he frowns.

“Are you okay sir?” Just him calling me sir makes me feel hot.

He has this worried frown on his face, his eyes looking gently into mine, and the fucking moonlight makes it seems like a scenario from a classic romantic movie.

“Um, Jacob...” I feel the words stucked in my throat and him, looking at me with these innocents perky eyes, doesn't help.

I take a deep breath and then I tell him:

“I'm sorry for.. you know, the pizza incident” I can't come up with better words.. it's too embarassing to say : “I'm sorry if I licked pizza off your face”

“Oh..” He blushes, letting out a giggle. “It's okay”

He must have noticed that It's really an uncomfortable conversation so he tries to lighten up the air.

“Was it good? ” My eyes widen in amusement, and then he continues :

“The pizza! “ He adds in a rush “of course I meant the pizza, not my mouth” then he realizes what he just said and he keeps stuttering, completely red in his face.

“Um.. I mean, O- of course it was good” he laughs nervously rubbing his neck, avoiding my eyes.

“.... Um I'm sorry, it was just a joke Con- I mean Sir.”

I bit my lips because.. I'm afraid to burst out in laughter right now.. He's too cute and awkward and it would be rude to do it on his face.

_“Wait.. did I just think he's cute?”_

“ I should go back inside” He says with a broken laugh, his cheeks still flushed and his eyes still looking shiny and bright, just like the moon.

I shake my head at my own thoughts.

I watch him going back inside letting out a loud groan.

_“I'm so screwed”_

I hide into my office for the rest of the party, I couldn't stand there watching him and his date, even though he said she's not his type, laughing and dancing..

There's only one thing I know. I'm fucking horny right now.

The events of these days turned me on so much that I couldn't take care of the tension.

The teasing, the looks, the “infortunate” positions, his ass in full display. It's too much.

I'm tempted to take care of my needs and I debate myself for few minutes if I should take advantage of the empty office.. or not.

In the end I cave in. Don't judge. I have needs to fulfill.

I'm typing quickly on my keyboard when I hear my office's door suddenly opening.

I lift up my eyes, and Jude is walking, with a serious expression on his face, straight towards me.

Without saying a word he steps around my desk, finally standing in front of my desk chair.

“Wh-” He puts his finger on my lips and I feel a rush of arousal spreading through my lower stomach.

I notice then, how his eyes shift from my face to my computer screen and he frowns.

_“Crap”_

“Um... It's just a virus, I didn't... I'm not that kind of p-” He shuts me up again from my rambling, straddling my lap.

The sudden contact makes me feel a shiver running down my spine. The last thing I see is that amused smirk on his lips, before he closes the distance between our lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need a life, I know lol  
> Unfortunately This keeps me distracted from my "Real life " problems so.. I can only embrace it LOL.  
> Thanks for the comments :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole chapter contains sexual contents.

The moment our lips connect, nothing matters anymore. We're not Jacob and Stevens, Employee and Boss.  _We're Jude and Connor._

Every bit of worry, the last bit of my conscience that keep screaming at me to walk away, that all of this is highly unprofessional, that this is wrong, goes out of the window.

I close my eyes, losing myself in the depth of his kisses.

He laces his hands behind my neck, and my hands rest on his hips pulling him closer to my body.

He moans feeling my tongue stroking roughly inside of his mouth.

He pulls at my hair, moving insistently on my lap. The friction between our body caused by his hips rubbing and grinding against mine, makes me harder immediately.

He gasps, when I lift his small frame, sitting him up on my desk.

His hands rush to my shirt pulling it out of my pants, and I let out a groan when his hands make a quick work to the front of my pants, whipping the belt out of the loops.

“Oh my God” He looks up and our eyes meet. His eyes are darker than I've ever seen, Filled with hunger and lust. Before I have the chance to seal our lips again, he grabs me by my silk tie pulling his mouth back against mine. He's making me lose my mind.

His hand slips underneath my shirt, softly caressing my hip bone, while my mouth lays soft teasing kisses on the tender skin of his neck.

The air is almost suffocating, filled with our moans and pants.

He knows exactly where to touch me to make me feel hot and bothered.  _Teasing little shit._

“I hope this is better than that website” He whispers hotly, licking the shell of my ear.

“So much fucking better.”

I can feel his smile against the skin of my neck, licking and biting down. I close my eyes letting out a low, frustrated noise.

Unable to stop his torturing teasing foreplay, I grab roughly at his impressive bulge, still trapped inside his pants, shoving down in one smooth move his pants and boxer.

He gasps, his dark eyes widen before they fell closed at the sensation of my mouth closing on his dick.

He lays down on my desk leaning on his elbows as I'm taking him, up and down, licking and sucking at his incredibly tasting dick.

“Oh my god..” He moans, and that makes me grin like an idiot against his tip.

“Do you like that?”

He nods, grabbing me by my hair, pushing me down.

“What would you do if I stopped, like right now?” His eyes open widely, glaring at me, while he keep pushing with his hips even deeper in my throat.

“You...Would be an colossal asshole” He says tightening his grip on my scalp.

“Yeah?”

I do. I pull away.

He groans sitting up immediately, glaring at me with eyes mad and glossy.

I keep grinning at him, and at his leaking dick.

“You're a dick ” He groans getting up, lifting up his arms and getting rid of his shirt.

“What you're going to do about it?” I challenge him.

He smirks, shaking his head and taking few steps towards me.

He smiles, quickly licking inside of my mouth pushing me until my back hits the wall behind me.

He rips my shirt open , and I feel a shiver running down my spine at the feel of his tender, fucking softly, finger running over my nipple.

“Fuck”

His hands run downwards, quickly unbuttoning my pants and giving my dick an hard squeeze.

I moan loudly, pushing it into his palms.

I can't take it anymore, the friction.. the pressure, his hot hands on my bulge. I feel sweat running down my back.

“Fucking touch me.”

He laughs loudly, shoving down my boxer.

“Oh, fuck yes” his mouth close on my tip closing his eyes at the same time as mine, feeling him sucking it eagerly.

I feel the pull on my lower stomach and I know I'm close.. but then, he returned the favour, pulling away.

My eyes open and he's still on his knees looking at me with a mischievous smile on his lips.

I lower down my hand gripping at the back of his head, pulling him again towards my dick.

“I'm sorry _Sir_.” He says mockingly, slapping my hand away and getting up.

“No, no,no what are you doing?” the shithead smirks, leaning against the desk. His smile still devious and fucking teasing. I hate him so much.

“I was giving you a taste of your own medicine. _**Sir**_ ”

“get the fuck back over here”

He laughs amused, shaking his head.  
“Are you playing the Boss card, Sir?”

He's a teasing shithead.

“I'm playing the _You better finish what you started card,_ Jacob _”_

“Or what?” he challenges.

I stride towards him, pushing him back against the cold surface of my desk. he groans lacing his hand around my neck, kissing me deeply.

I wrap my hand around his dick, stroking him while my lips keeps tracing his neck, biting, leaving a sign that will remind him tomorrow morning who owned his body tonight.

“Please” He begs.

I give him a smirk, running down with my lips on his lower stomach.

He pants sharply when, with one hand I grip his wrist holding it over his head, and with the other one I open my drawers taking out a small bottle of lube and a condom.

“Finally some action over here” He mocks, still moaning.

He's so annoying. With his smart ass comments, and his teasing way of taking me to the complete madness.

He finally shuts up, pushing deeper with his hips when my fingers stroke against his prostrate.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck.. Come ooon” He whines when I keep taking him to the edge, dragging out with slowly, teasing strokes.

When I'm sure he's falling apart I pull his hips back, thrusting without hesitation inside of him.

“You're enjoying it, aren't you?” He seems to be even more turned on by my dirty comments.

He keep pushing against my persistent thrusts, with his eyes closed in complete bliss, his moans filling the air.

“When was the last time you've been fucked like this?” He moans, slowly opening his eyes. He can't even talk, poor thing. I almost feel sorry for him.

“You wouldn't be such a little teasing shithead if you were being properly fucked”

Before his hands could reach his aching dick to get some release, my hands beat him first. I wrap my wrist around it, closing my eyes and letting my come flows out of my dick. He comes few seconds after me, panting and breathing heavily.

I pull out of him, and the little hurting noises he makes makes me harden again. He puts his hands over his face, taking deep breaths, trying to come down from the orgasm.

I throw the condom in the bin and when I turn around he gets up from the desk, his body still shaking, looking at me deeply.

“Um..” He says blushing.

“Now you're blushing...” He rolls his eyes, getting up and collecting his clothes.

I do too.

When we're both dressed, the air feels extremely awkward.

“So..”

“I guess, I'll see you tomorrow Sir.”

“You surely will, Jacob”

He smiles, coming closer to me, straighten up my tie.

“Here you go” he says quietly.

I feel the words stuck in my throat, our eyes are glued to each other.

“Goodnight Sir”

That comes out naturally.

“Goodnight Jacob”

He gives a devious smile before turning around and heading towards the door, obviously swinging his hips.

_Fucking tease._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed to "Explicit " Just in case LOL  
> Let me know what you think of this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6.

_**Jude's POV.** _

__

The following day I hope to avoid every, unnecessary, contact with Connor Stevens. Aka my boss. Aka the man that fucked my brain off last night. Aka my biggest nightmare came to life.

The elevator is crowded as usual, and Taylor stares at me, like usual.

“Is Everything okay?” she asks softly, and it surprises me.. usually she has no tact.

I just nod, not feeling like talking, because the day just started and I have my brain that keep talking and talking on its own, since I left his office last night. I wish there was a button to just turn it off.

Taylor steps out of the elevator, and I just close my eyes taking a deep breath when the elevator reaches the office's floor.

I step out  and I walk towards my desk with my gaze low and pulse racing.

I sit down, turning on the computer.

I'm spending the whole morning busy with phonecalls and taking care of my boss paperwork and stuff like this.

He doesn't come out of his office all morning, and it's weird.. I'm tempted to go inside using an excuse, but I toss the idea very quickly.

Suddenly the door opens, and I quickly shift my gaze from the wall to the computer screen, biting my nails and pretending to reply to some emails.

I feel my breath catching in my throat when David Simpson comes out of his office.

He's one of Connor's biggest client's son and he's gay. Two things that just makes me feel raging blood boiling through my veins.

Connor steps out of his office, in a very casual attire, I might add. He's not wearing his usual working suit but he decided to wear a pair of black tight pants and a soft-looking beige sweater. He's mouthwatering.

They talk and laughs, standing a few feets away from my desk, almost unaware of my presence. Then Connor throws a brief glance at me before turning his attention back to his “Buddy” and he says:

“What about I take you to lunch to the Country Club?” and then he adds “So we can have that tennis match, afterwards”

I know I have no right to be pissed, but I can't refrain myself to roll my eyes. I see him looking at me through the corner of my eyes, and I have no doubt. He saw me. But I don't care. I keep looking at my computer, hoping to seem totally unaffected, despite my stomach is literally twisting.

“Sure” Simpson says resting his hand on Connor's arm.

“ _No, please go ahead.. you can even make out here, on my desk. It's like I'm not even here.”_

I roll my eyes again at my own sarcasm.

“Jacob. ” He says walking towards my desk.

“Yeah? ”, I barely lift up my eyes, looking at him dismissively.

“I'm going out for lunch, I'll be back in the late afternoon. If you need me, call me on my phone.”

“Sure thing, **Boss** ” He blinks at my detached tone staring at me a little longer than necessary before turning around with a frown and going out for lunch with David Simpson.

 

“You're coming to lunch?” Taylor asks, stepping in front of my desk.

I lift up my eyes from my phone screen, playing Candy Crush.

“No, thanks.. not hungry”

She frowns, looking at me messily sitting on my own chair and my eyes totally glued to the screen. She's clearly surprised because that's totally out of my character. Since “ _I'm usually neat and flawless_.” Her words, not mine.

“Um.. You're not afraid that the asshole comes out of that office and sees you playing some game?” She asks confused, her eyebrows furrowing even further when I let out a loud snort.

“He's out for lunch..” _with his buddy, David Simpson._ I would like to add. But then I bit my tongue.

“Oh well, in that case..” She smiles, sitting on the edge of my desk.

“What are you doing?” I lift up my eyes from the screen.

“I'm joining you” She simply replies , pulling out her phone from her purse, starting her own Candy Crush match.

That's what friends are for, ladies and gentleman.

 

The rest of the afternoon is quite boring and stalling.  
My stomach aches whenever I'm answering a phonecall and I have to say:

“Mr. Stevens is not at the office right now “ _He's out with David Simpson._ Obviously I bit my tongue at that part. _“_ Would you like to leave a message?”

The asshole comes back, alone this time, and he heads straight towards my desk.

Obviously I totally ignore his penetrating gaze looking at the paperwork on my desk instead, until he clears his throat and I look up at him.

“Jacob.” He greets me, flashing his gorgeous smile. If I wasn't totally pissed right now, I would have melted.

“Hello Mr. Stevens.”

He leans in closer to me while his arms are resting on the edges of my desk. I try to not to look at his still damp hair, or thinking about his rock-hard ABS underneath the soft material of his sweater, or his gorgeous smile, and his big hands, and his big..

“ Are you okay Jacob?” He asks and then he adds “you look flushed.”

I shake my head, and the asshole laughs.

“Something is making you feel hot?” He leans in even closer, till our noses are few inches apart. I feel my lips parting and my heart racing.

He slowly darts out his tongue wetting his upper lip, and I let out a gasp feeling his breath against my lips.

The room suddenly feel small and suffocating. I close my eyes, feeling his smirk against my lips before he's abruptly pulling away.

“Fuck” the curse comes out spontanously , and I'm feeling self conscious for few seconds for letting it slip in front of him.

He looks down at me, sitting at my desk panting and blushing violently, with a very satisfied expression on his face.

_Asshole._

 

Finally it's 7 Pm. I Start gathering my things getting up from my desk.

At the exact same time, he gets out of his office. I knew it. Of course we're going to share the elevator ride.

Karma is a bitch.

I decide to ignore him and the disturbing unsettling feeling in my stomach. I walk ahead of him trying to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of his eyes fixed on my back.

I can feel him standing behind me while we're waiting for the doors to open, and that makes me feel a shiver running down my spine.

_Damn it._

The elevator's door slides open, and for the first time the space is completely empty.

_Here we go again; Karma really is a bitch._

I step inside leaning with my back against the mirrow, distancing myself as far away as possible from him.

He's standing a few feets away from me, his eyes fixed on me.

I'm looking ahead trying to not cave in, totally ignoring his looks.

“ _Don't look at him, don't look at him.”_ My mind keeps saying and then “You can do this”.

_I can do this._

He clears his throat like to get my attention, and I just ignore him.

“Jacob” He says and Then I see him, from the corner of my eyes, taking few steps closer to me.

With every step he takes I feel my heart beating faster.

I realize that I need to breathe, I feel my breath shallow and heavy. It's too hot in here, damn it why this place is so small?

Oh my god, Jude breathe.

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

“Jacob?” His voice seems warmer than I'd ever heard, and I suddenly feel his hand laying on my cheek.

In this moment I realize that I've closed my eyes but Before I have the chance to open it I feel his lips on mine.

I let out a gasp opening my eyes hearing that the elevator has stopped moving , and I glance at Connor's hand pressed against the control panel.

He looks at me, with his eyes dark and dilated, before pressing my body against the mirrow behind me.

The space feels even more suffocating with his hard chest and hardness pressed against me.

I want to tell him to fuck off, that I'm not his slut or something. I have some dignity, and I'm not gonna have sex with him after he (probably) hooked up with someone else. I want to tell him all these things, but I feel my throat getting dry and unable to utter these things out loud.

“What?” He asks. His voice is hoarse and low and it turns me on even more.

I Shake my head, and he pulls away slightly looking deeply into my eyes.

“You're my boss” Duh. I just pointed out the obvious.

He gives a laugh.

“I'm aware of that.”

“Don't you think it's a little inappropriate?” My brain cells finally seems to function.

He shrugs, running his finger on my cheek. His vulnerable expression makes my heart lose a beat. 

It's really hard to have a serious conversation with his hardening dick pressed against my thigh. The ache for physical contact is making me feel like starving. I need his hands and his touch on me like I need air.

He bents forward, connecting his lips with mine. He grabs me by the back of my tighs and suddenly I feel my legs wrapping around his hips.

The cold surface of the mirrow makes me gasps feeling uncomfortable compared to the warmth I'm feeling through all over my aching body.

His lips moves, trailing down on my neck while his hips never stop their treatment, moving insistently against mine.

He keeps grinding and rubbing against me, and I suddenly feel his body shaking against mine.

“Shit" He groans into the crook of my neck, I let out a giggle, quickly repleaced by a moan. His lips trails back on mine, and everything feels too much. His crotch rubbing against mine, his tongue in my mouth, the constricting steamy air....

“Fuck......”

It's good that he's holding me up, because after this intense orgasm I would have passed out. He puts me down, probably making sure that my legs are able to support me on my feet first.

He clears his troath, smiling widely, before pressing his hand against the panel control.

We spend the whole ride in complete silence, even though he looks at me, smiling.

When we finally reach the ground floor, and when the doors open there's Mariana waiting for us with her brother Jesus and Adam.

“Oh my God, are you two okay?” She lets out a worried sigh.

“Yes, we got stuck in the elevator, but everything is fine” Connor replies with his perfectly neutral pokerface. I Don't know how he does it, I would have blushed. Speaking of..

“Oh look at you, You're all flushed and sweaty!” Mariana says, wrapping her arms around me.

“You must have been so scared...” She says with sympathy and I nod into her shoulder, But then she blindsides me and my eyes widen when she whispers into my ear:

“Don't worry... I took care of the elevator's surveillance video.. your secret is safe with me”

Her voice is filled with amusement and happiness And even though I'm honestly shocked, because we were so reckless to not think about the elevator's surveillance video, I feel a bit relieved about this.

I pull away and she winks at me.

“Are you sure you two are okay?” Connor nods, and when Adam's gaze shifts on me I give him an affermative nod as well.

“Luckily We have this little genius here.” Adam says proudly “ She made sure to fix whatever happened to that elevator” Adam chuckles and she smiles angelically before winking at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos :)


	7. Chapter 7.

Connor's pov.

 

What a day.

I really need a drink right now, so I go to my favourite lounge bar hoping that my brain will be so foggy that I will momentarily forget about the fact that I'm screwing my assistant.

“Pour another one.”

The bartender gives me a strange look, before shrugging his shoulders and fulfill my request.

This whole day has been hell.

First, I lost my tennis match against David Simpson, and my competitive side can't accept that, then he asked me if I was okay with him asking my assistant out. I managed to keep my heartbeats under control and my face cool and calm, even though I felt a rush of jealousy that I couldn't really explain to myself.

We hooked up twice and now I feel this rush of possessiveness over him?

What we're doing it's not even ethical. It's totally wrong and unprofessional, and if my father finds out he will kick my ass and probably fire Jude. And it's true that I'm known as an heartless asshole but I don't want that for him. 

It's just that no matter how hard I keep trying to convince myself that I'm not attracted to him. I am. And I'm completely unable to make my brain function when he's around. And he's around a lot, because it's my fucking assistant.

“Fuck”

The bartender gives me another stern look, probably thinking that I'm drunk _and_ talking on my own now.  
I should go. Yeah, I should probably go.

“Thanks man” He smiles after handing him a very good tip.

On my way home, I hear my phone buzzing, so I pull it out of my pocket.

It's a text from David.

“Hey Man, Just wanna say that I've just texted Jude. Thanks man, you're the best.”

“Fuck!!” I let out a groan, running my hand through my hair.

 

The following morning I feel like crap.

I'm grounchy and I feel very bitchy, probably due to the lack of sleep.

“What it's going on with him?” I hear Jesus asking Dad, on my way out of the door. I can't hear my dad's reply though.

“Good morning Mr. Stevens” The receptionist greets me with a warm smile when I'm walking past her desk on my way to the elevator. 

I can see her face turns into a mask of coldness when she gets no answer. I don't really care, and that makes think that is probably for my rude manners that I'm known as “Asshole” in the entire office.

As soon as I step out of the elevator, I can't help but notice Jude sitting at his desk as usual. He seems completely calm and relaxed staring at the huge bunch of flowers on his desk.

Oh Okay.

“You didn't have to, Jacob.” He tenses at the sound of my voice, lifting up his eyes from the, I have to say, wonderful bunch of tulips.

“Oh..” He gives a nervous giggle, blushing a bit “David Simpson sent it.”  
At the mention of his name my shoulders go rigid and I can't help but ask, trying to sound cool and not raging:  
“So.. you two are a thing now?” the words come out of my mouth through a totally bitchy and mean voice.  His relaxed expression turns into a frown, and now he's glaring at me with furrowed eyebrows.

“I don't think that's any of your business Mr. Stevens” He retorts, looking at me with challenge with crossed arms resting on his desk and a pissed expression on his face.

“I think it would be highly inappropriate Jacob.”

He starts laughing, covering his face with his hands, literally sobbing. I wait for him to sober up, and it takes a while.

He finally compose himself, straightening up on his chair, fixing his glasses and taking a deep breath.

Then he looks up at me again.

“Are you serious right now?” He asks, the words _“Like what we're doing it's not totally unprofessional”_ totally clear in his voice.

“Yes, I am”

He gives a giggle, shaking his head.

He's so frustrating.

“Okay first, I declined on his invitation. “ I internally let out a sigh of relief.  
“But.. if I ever say yes.. “ he says “ I don't need your permission, Boss.”

The deliberate way he adds emphasis on the word _“Boss”_ literally makes my blood rushing “Downstairs”. He smirks, probably noticing the way I'm stirring in my pants.

“You're favourite coffee has already been delivered, it's on your desk” I hear him saying when I'm closing the office's door behind my back, and that provokes an unconscious smile to spread on my lips, staring at the warm coffee cup on my desk.

 

I've just finished sipping my coffee when the phone rings.

“Yeah?”

“Mr. Stevens there's Mr. Simpson” he pauses and I can hear the uncomfortable pitch in his voice saying his name “He wants to see you”

“Let him in.”

Few seconds later, David storms into my office clearly upset and defeated.

“I can't believe it!” He says with frustrated voice, running his finger through his hair and sinking on my leather couch.

“Um...” He doesn't even let me talk, turning his face towards me.

“He rejected me!”  
Oh.. this is extremely awkward.

“Oh no.. what happened..” I join him on the couch and he doesn't look at me, fiddling with his fingers.

“He doesn't want to go out with me, can you believe that?” He sounds like a child, but he's been trated like a child by his billionaire parents his entire life so I'm not surprised.

“No one ever rejected me!”

“Oh come on.. don't be like that, he's not worthy of your pain, David.”

_Ah, sure._

“Maybe he's just playing hard to get” he says, lifting up his head and I can't help but notice how his eyes are sparkling with hope.

“Mm, I don't want to crush your dreams David, but it's highly unlikely”

“What do you mean, Connor?” He asks frowning.

This, trying to keep him away from my assistant, it's really a fucking difficult task.

“I mean.. It's really what you want? You always said that you like strong, confident.. and very rich man.” He nods “That's your type.. so, do you really want to change that?”

“Oh.” he says, his face completely calm and surprised, I guess.

“I get what you're saying..”

I let out a sigh of relief.

“You're into me” He states, leaning towards me.

“W-what?” My eyes widen, trying to keep him at safe distance.

“It's okay Connor.. it's not the first time we do this” He says smirking, I try to get as far away as possible from him but he grabs me by my hips keeping me there.

He totally misunderstood the situation, I wasn't talking about me! Oh God.

When I think that things can't possibly get any worse my assistant knocks at my office's door and I quickly pull away from him.

“Um.. come in!”  
Jude opens the door and then he looks at us for few seconds before blinking.

Maybe the fact that David, trying to make a point, shifts closer to me and that his hands are still resting on my hips, makes him see things totally in the  wrong way.

There's a hint of hurt on his face, but then he slightly shakes his head, clearing his throat and saying with voice ice cold:

“Mr. Stevens your presence is requested by your father in the conference room”

David gets up from the couch, smiling mischievously at Jude on his way out.

“Thank you for the great talk, Connor” He says winking, before getting out of the office.

Jude turns his back, trying to step out of the room, but I quickly get up from the couch rushing towards the door blocking his way out with my arm.

“It's not what it looks like!”

I don't even know why I feel the need to make it clear. It's not that I owe him an explanation , Like he doesn't owe me one. We are not a couple. But still, I felt this pull when I saw the hurt all over his face.

He doesn't look at me, he just says in a detached tone “ Not that it's any of my business, Mr. Stevens.” before shrugging off my arm and heading towards his desk, still not looking at me.

I close my door, leaning with my back against it, letting out a groan.

My phone vibrates and there's a text from David.

“Told you! He was totally jealous! I think I might have a chance!”

I groan again, before opening the door and heading towards the conference room when my father is waiting for me.

Of course Jude doesn't lift up his eyes from the computer screen but I can totally feel his eyes glaring all over me, and it sends me cold chills running down my spine. Not positive ones though.

 

 

 


	8. chapter 8.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonnor being naughty with food. LOL  
> PS: This story takes place in LA.

Jude's Pov.

 

“ _Such an asshole.. God. Who does he think I am? His personal slut-ssistant?_

“ _I have some dignity.. I'm risking my job, my reputation .. and for what?”_

  
“Jacob!” His voice echoes through the empty underground parking car.  
“Wait. Jesus!” He says, and I can hear approaching footsteps from behind me.

I try to speed up because I can't deal with him right now, especially because his warm hazel eyes make my legs going weak.

I close my eyes, hearing him quickly catching up with me, grabbing me by my foreharm and slamming my body against his Mercedes.

“Jesus.” He gasps, taking deep breaths. “You're fast ” he says lifting up my chin, trying to make me look into his eyes.

“Aren't you gonna talk to me? Seriously?”

“Get off me” He pushes me even further against his car.

“Not until we talk” He says resolutely.

I let out a sarcastic laugh.

“We have nothing to talk about.” He groans, trapping me with his arms between his body and the car's door.

“Why are you such a dick?”

My eyes widen in shock. Me? A dick? Seriously?

I let out a groan, trying to push his body off me. It's hard, And not just because he literally has his hardness pressed against my tight, but because it's like his body is made of cement.

“Talk to me!” He orders. His high pitched voice echoes through the empty parking car, and it makes me feel chills running down my spine.

“You want to talk? Okay let's talk!” I push him in the chest, and he finally takes a step back.

My body is still pressed against the door's car, but not having his body heat pressed against me it's a positive thing because my brain can function into formulate basic sentences.

“I'm not your whore” He blinks, flinching at my choice of words. He parts his lips, and I cut him off before he has the chance to reply.

“I'm risking my career and my reputation, what we're doing is professionally wrong I'm aware of that, but I'm not your whore.”

“W-why would you think that?”

He's seriously asking that question?

“David.” He rolls his eyes taking a step closer to me. I let him.

“If you want to keep doing, whatever this it, you have to understand that I'm not some whore you can screw whenever you're bored, before going at it with another one.”

There's a hint of smile on his lips but it quickly disappears.

“Are you jealous?”

He takes another step closer. Despite his body being a inches or two apart from mine, I can totally feel his body heat. It makes my brain going fuzzy.

“Were you jealous?” He shakes his head in amusement, resting his hand on my hips as he pushes my body against the car.

“Were you jealous when he sent me flowers?” I can hear my voice low and shaky, feeling his lips ghosting across mine.

“Were you jealous when you saw us on my couch? His hands gripping on my hips?” He retorts.

This game is becoming too dangerous.

I feel my hands resting on his back, not even realizing that they landed there, tightening their grip.

He smirks against my neck running his lips over my skin, so soft and teasing, Like the touch of a feather.

“Stop” He doesn't. Maybe because my voice isn't steady at all. It probably came out like a weak, feeble _“_ _Stop..”_

“Stop!” I guess now he heard. He pulls away, looking at me with dark widened eyes.

“Okay.” He just replies, pulling away completely. The loss of his body heat against mine makes me feel like a void in my chest. Not pleasant, at all.

An uncomfortable Silence fells between us, He's standing a few feets away from me with an unreadable expression across his face. He's looking at the ground, his eyes looking embarassed and his cheeks flushed by the heat.

I keep standing with my body against the car, taking deep breaths.. waiting for my heartbeats to slow down.

He clears his throat at some point , finally looking up at me.

“You know “ He says “Just to be clear, I wasn't trying to molest you.. I thought you wanted this as much as I want it.” He says rolling his eyes, heading to the driver seat of his car.

I feel myself panicking and an unpleasant feeling building inside my chest at the thought of him leaving. So, before he has the chance to take another step away from me, I'm grabbing him by his arm pulling his body against mine.

He gasps and I take advantage of his parted lips sliding my tongue inside. His eyes close and He kisses me back almost immediately, running his hands on my cheeks.  
A sudden thought makes my eyes slide open and pulling away from his lips.

“Wh-”He lets out a groan. I quickly cut him off.  
“The cameras.” He sighs, looking around us and on the ceiling where the surveillances camera are placed.

He sighs again, cupping my face into his hands. I close my eyes leaning into his touch. It's good..they are warm and soft. I don't want to let go.. but I'm feeling like we have to. He pulls away, and I'm ready to let him go and separate our ways for the night. But then he surprises me more than ever when he says:  
“Do you want to come over?”

He laughs softly, probably noticing my pink cheeks and widen eyes.

“B-But.. your father...”

" There was an emergency meeting in San Diego.. so he had a last minute flight to catch.” He says with a mischievous smirk on his lips, then he adds “Jesus is with him.”

The sudden momentum shift makes my head spin.

“B-but Mariana..”

“Mariana lives on her own.” He cuts me off, clearly frustrated by all the questions and hesitations.

“So..?”

He notices my hesitation, and he sighs asking softly:

“What's holding you back?”

A lot of things actually.

For starters he's my boss.. I could be fired, I will probably end up heartbroken, jobless, homeless.. a lot of things are holding me back.

But at the same time I want this. I never felt the sparks I feel when he touches me. It's like being hit by electric shocks spreading through my entire body. It's useless denying it anymore. He makes me feel alive.

“I'm not hooking up with him.” He says suddenly breaking the silence, and that makes my heart feel lighter.

I still feel a little self conscious about this.. but then I look up at him, and he's staring at me with warm bright eyes, and that breaks every hesitations.

_He wants it. I want It..._

I lifts up my eyes, nodding eagerly with a warm smile spreading on my lips.

“Let's go.”

 

 

“You can sit here.” He says, leading me into the insanely huge living room.

“I'll go grab some food” he smiles as I'm sitting down on the black leather couch.

I've never seen him so.. relaxed. He seems like a totally different person.

“What?”

“I like your smile.” the words come out inconsciously out of my lips. And I mentally slap myself for that.

“Thanks.” He says softly with blush on his cheeks, heading towards the kitchen.

 

“Um..” He steps into the living room with a bowl.

“Everything okay?”

He smiles awkwardly, before laying the bowl on the coffee table across from the couch.

“The fridge was empty..” He says pointing at the strawberries into the bowl.

It makes me laugh.

“It's okay.. I love strawberries.”

He lets out a sigh of relief, getting up and pulling out of a cabinet a bottle of champagne.

“You don't have to...”

It looks really expensive.

He shrugs, sitting down on the couch and pouring the champagne in one glass.

“Thanks”

He fills his own glass, raising it towards mine.

“Cheers”

 

He keep pouring and pouring, until my head feels fuzzy.

“Okay I think that's enough..”  
He laughs, shaking his head in fake disappointment.

“You're lame Jacob, you need to loosen up a bit.”

I roll my eyes.

“Thanks Boss, I will definitely keep that in mind”

He grabs one strawberry from the bowl, lifting it to his lips.

I try to not notice how he's biting the fruit, sucking it lightly. His eyes never leaving mine.

It feels like the pizza situation all over again.

At some point, he's getting up from the couch with a wide grin on his lips.

“Where are you going?”

“I'll be right back” He says, heading to God knows where.

He comes back after few minutes with a wide smile on his face, holding a jar in his hand. My eyes widen in realization and I lift my eyebrow in surprise.

“Nutella... really?” He laughs sitting down on the couch.

He grabs one strawberry out of the bowl, dipping it into the chocolate, and then lifting it up towards my lips.

“Come on... I know you want some”  
This man in front of me doesn't seems like my boss. I'm not sure if that's the alcoohol talking or this I'm witnessing to the real Connor Stevens.

My lips parts and he slides the strawberry into my mouth.

“Mmm..” His eyes widen as he stares at me, still lifting the fruit to my lips. Our eyes don't dare breaking eye contact and I can't help but notice how his eyes are sparkling with a darker light.

When I'm finished eating my strawberry, he lets out a short intake of breath staring at my tongue darting out of my lips licking off the chocolate.

He clears his throat, blushing and sipping from his flute of champagne.

The low dim light in the living room makes this moment to feel even more sensual and intimate. And It makes me brave enought to cave into my desires.

He gasps when I'm lifting a very dipped strawberry to his plump lips.

He quickly parts his lips, taking it inside of his mouth and sucking eagerly in a deliberate way, looking straight into my eyes.

The fruit is completely covered with chocolate so most of it ends up on his lips, and his cheeks.

As soon as he finished eating it, He lifts up his finger to clean the mess on his cheeks but I suddenly climb on his lap making him freeze on his movements.

I don't even know what I'm doing, as usual my body moves on its own.

I grab his wrist pinning it to the couch, and he moans lifting up his hips creating some delicious friction.

“Oh....” He moans as soon as my lips makes contact with his cheeks. I dart out my tongue licking off the chocolate off his skin.

“Payback time.”

He laughs and moan at the same time.

His wrists try to shrug off my grip, but he's definitely not succeeding.

He moves his head to the side allowing me to lick the tender skin of his neck eliciting curses and moans out of him.

He gasp when My fingers dipped with chocolate run upon his lips. He open his eyes, and they are darker than I've ever seen.

His blazing eyes look into mine never breaking eye contact as his lips part and he starts sucking off my fingers.

He lets out a moan, slowly closing his eyes as he licks the chocolate off, biting soflty at my fingers.

“You taste delicious” He says with a smirk on his lips.

He takes advantage of the loosened grip on his wrists and he pushes me off his lap, laying me down on the couch and quickly climbing on top of me.

What happens next feels completely blurry, it's like feeling high.

It's too much. He makes me lose my mind.

He undresses me in a slowly teasing way.

The trails of his hands and his mouth on my skin makes me feel like I'm drawning.

He whispers softly in my ears, things he wants to do with me _and only with me._

“Tell me you want this” He says while pushing his dick inside of me.

I can't speak. I feel my throat dry and unable to let out a sound.

“You drive me crazy” He moans, trailing his lips down my collarbone bottoming out and then pushing inside again.

“Look at me.” He orders, but It's too much intense and I really can't...

“Jacob. Look at me.”

I open my eyes,staring at him and I feel my self losing an heartbeat just thinking about how beautiful he is.

Even with his dark lustful eyes, his hair all over the place by the strokes of my fingers, his flushed cheeks, the sweat running down his neck.. he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

“Tell me you want this” He repeats, and how can I possible say no to him?

He closes his eyes, hiding his face into the crook of my neck, speeding up with his thrusts.

We reach the climax at the same time, together.. and as I'm taking deep breaths, trying to recover from the intense orgasm , I hear him panting against my neck.

“I can't stay away from you.”

 The words hit me like a kick in the stomach.


	9. chapter 9.

Connor's pov.

 

The jerking sound of the alarm almost makes me fall out of the bed.

I feel my head heavy and fuzzy. I can't even open my eyes.

“Fuck...”

I stretch my arms, and it touch something laying next to me. I open my eyes, and then I see him.

All the memories from last night starts flowing across my mind; Us drinking, the strawberries, the chocolate.. I let out a short intake of breath feeling my cheeks getting warmer.

“Oh god..” A wild smile appears on my lips, I can't help it.

“Um.. hey..” as soon as my finger touches his arm, He shrugs off my touch laying onto his stomach, hiding his face in the pillow.

“Mmm..”

I give a quick glance at my alarm clock, realizing that it's 6 Am.

“Hey..” I lay my face against his shoulder, laying soft teasing kisses.

He's barely covered by the sheets from his waist down.. leaving his upper body completely naked and at my mercy.

I climb on top of him, softly kissing the perfect porcelain skin of his neck.

He sighs, pushing with his ass against my erection, titling his head to the side.

He lifts up his upper body leaning against mine. He raises his hand and he laces it through my hair As my mouth keeps biting and sucking on his tender spot. He keeps moaning, rubbing his ass against my dick.

I wonder if I canmake him come, just for this. I'm close.

“Oh God..” He moans, eyes closed and lips parted.

Just the sight of him on the blink of the orgasm makes me speed up on my biting, until there's a purple, noteworthy, hickey on his skin.

I'm almost impressed with myself, If I have to be honest.

He moans, and his body starts convulsing like he's being hit by electric shocks.

_So. Hot._

I climb off his back, laying on my side of the bed, letting him breathe.

“Oh.. my fucking God.” He gasps. Then He lifts his finger touching the swollen skin.

“Um..”  
His eyes widen, and he finally looks at me. He seems pissed. Then before I have the chance to ask why there's a mischievous smile on his lips, he climbs on top of me.

My hand lifts up touching the hickey and he closes his eyes relaxing into my touch.

“Very subtle. ” He points out, wrapping his hand around my erection.

“Consider it like a memo.”

I feel warmth inside my chest at the sound of his laugh.

He laughs, speeding up his jerking movements.

“So you'll remember who fucked you this morning.. and yesterday” He nods letting out a sigh.

“Yeah.. I don't think I'll be able to eat strawberries and Nutella without blushing from now on.”

He makes me laugh. He's hilarious.

He lifts down his body, laying open mouthed kisses down my collarbone, while his hand keep jerking me off.

“So good.. keep going, I'm so close..”

He hums against my neck, licking and sucking.

I close my eyes, feeling the familiar feeling in my lower stomach.

“After that hickey you gave me, you deserve to be left high and dry” He laughs.

“Don't you fucking dare”

He laughs harder, jerking faster in his movements until I finally reach the peak of my orgasm.

 

He gets up, after a while, pulling on his jeans with a relaxed smile on his face.

“You're leaving?”  
“Yeah.. I should head home, I think my flat mate is freaking out right now.. I never stayed out all night.”

I sit up on my bed, and for a moment he gazes over my naked chest.

“Oh.. do you have a flat mate?”  
I don't know why, I feel a strange feeling spreading through my stomach at the new information.

“Yeah.. Um, that girl.. from Peterman's retirement party? That's my flat mate.”

I feel myself letting out a sigh of relief, I hope he didn't notice.

“Oh.. Yeah, I remember.”

_How can I forget about that night._

He sits on the edge of the bed putting his shoes on.

I crawl over him, laying my head onto his shoulder.

I'm surprised about how everything comes out so natural when I'm with him.. it's like everything feels genuine and instinctive.

I've never cuddled with any one, but when I'm with him I feel like a different person.. Or maybe, I just feel like me.

“You're making me very hard to leave..”

I sit up on my knees, resting my hands on his shoulders.

He laughs, shaking his head.  
“Why are you laughing?”

“It's just.. I like this reversed role play” then he adds “ I mean.. I'm your assistant, I should give you a massage”

He leans into the touch of my hands, inhaling and exhaling..

“I need to go..” He whines with a pout on his lips.

“Okay..” He sighs when I pull away from him.

He gets up from the bed turning towards me.

“I'll.. see you at work then.”  
I just nod, lifting up on my knees.

He blushes, standing freezed in his spot.. we are clearly both unsure of what do to now.

Logically, we should kiss, and I don't even know why this moment feels so awkward since we have done a lot worse.

He clears his throat, still blushing.

“W-we should..”

“I.. mean, if you want to..”

He quickly nods.

“Of course, yeah..”

I smile.

“I'm not regretting anything.”

He smiles warmly.

“Me neither.” He says, coming closer to me.

“Perfect..”

He rests his hands on my cheeks, pulling me in for a kiss.

Somehow.. it feels different from any other kiss we shared, and we shared a lot.

It's chaste and light and makes me feel a fluttering feeling spreading all over my body.

I've never felt this kind of feeling with anyone else. It's like something settled inside of my chest.

It's warm and buzzing and incredible.

He pulls away, staring at me with a pink blush on his cheeks and lips parted.

He bits his lips, trying to hide a smile.

“See you later.”

“Okay.”

The moment he walks out of that door and I suddenly feel something like an unpleasant void settling inside of my chest, I have my confirmation.

_I like him._

 

 

The moment I step out of the elevator, I feel a warm smile on my lips.

“Morning, Jacob.”  
He lifts up his eyes, smiling warmly from behind his desk.

“Good morning Boss.”

The warm buzzing feeling is back.

“Your sister is waiting for you inside” He says and then he adds, noticing my furrowed eyebrows “You know how she is..”

“Thank you.”

He smiles nodding.

“Your coffee is on your desk”

I turn around, before opening my office's door, looking at him.

“Thank you, Jacob.”

His eyes widen, and a gorgeous smile spreads on his lips.

I think it's an understandable reaction since I never properly thanked him before, Not without acting like a jerk anyway.

 

“Here's my little brother” She announces smiling widely.

I close the door at my back, stepping inside with a confused frown on my face.

“What are you doing sitting at my desk?”

She rolls her eyes.

“And get your feet off my desk, Mariana!”

She snorts, getting up and turning around my desk.

“I was thinking...”

“...That you have no boundaries for other's people office?”

“No..” she says laughing “Dad's birthday party is in two days”

Crap. I forgot.

“You forgot..” I nod, sitting down at my desk chair.

“Don't worry, I took care of everything... you only need to pick a date” She says, sitting on the edge of the desk as usual.

“A date?”

“Well yeah.. you're planning on going alone? You are aware that Granma will constantly teasing you about the fact that a hunk man like you is still single?”

“Her words” She adds quickly “Not mine... Ew.”

“There's no one you want to take as your date? Seriously?”

“I Will ask someone..”

I can't definitely ask Jude.. not without blowing this up.

“Good..” She smiles, getting up.

“I'll go grab some coffee.. you want some?”

I shake my head, pointing at the still warm cup on my desk.

“Oh, someone really takes care of you” She says smiling brightly, before getting out of the office.

I shake my head, sipping my coffee.

“She's such a weirdo.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're so naughty.. I know!  
> Hope you all liked this chapter :)


	10. Chapter 10.

Jude's Pov.

 

I feel like a lame teenager that just got a text from his crush.

I can't stop smiling!

“ _Okay.. you're working right now. Stop smiling like an idiot.”_ my brain says, but I can't.

I feel My lips tugging up against my own control.

Okay.. now, let's take a deep breath, and let's try again...

Nope.

I still feel like an idiot, as I'm looking at the computer screen distractly biting a pen, but it's useless.

“Someone's happy.” Mariana teases, closing the door of his brother's office.

“Awww.. and he's blushing!”

“Stop it, Mariana.” she laughs, standing in front of my desk.

I look up at her.

“Can I help you?”

“Well, My father's birthday is in two days..” She says “And We're throwing a surprise birthday party for him.”

“Oh.”

She nods.

“Yeah, it's gonna be a blast! The entire family is gonna be there.”

_Oh._

“.. and of course all the employees are invited.” She adds, winking at me.

“Oh.”

“Could you stop answering in monosyllabes?” She says, rolling her eyes.

I let out a giggle, feeling my cheeks blushing once again.

“So, I can count on your presence?”

“Of course.. “ She smiles, nodding.

“Well.. you'll also get to see your-”  
“Mariana.” I quickly cut her off.

“You're adorable.”She says laughing and pinching on my cheeks.

“I gotta go.” She says pulling on her jacket “I Have a meeting with my boss.”

I nod, waving my hand.

“Bye, Mariana.”  
“See you at the party!” She says, waving her hand before getting in the elevator.

 

The rest of the morning flies in the blink of an eye.

It's lunch time, and Taylor asks as usual, when I'm on my way out of the building:

“Do you want to have lunch together?”

I feel bad, She literally asks me everyday.

“Well..” I awkwardly rub the back on my neck as she rolls her eyes.

“I got it. ” She says in a low, disappointed voice.

Now I feel even worse.

“Oh come on Tay-”

“I'm just curious to know where the hell are you going everyday at lunch time!”

“Um...” I feel myself blushing “Just getting pizza” for my boss, the man I'm hooking up with, my secret affair.

“I'm coming with, then!” She insists with bright eyes. She loves pizza more than her parents, that's for sure.

“So that we can spend some time together!” She adds enthusiastically.

“You know I'm gay, right?”  
She rolls her eyes, punching me in the arm.

 

We're sitting at the table of the pizza place, talking about silly things like tv shows or the gossip around the office.

“Have you heard about Connor Stevens having an affair?”

I literally choke on my diet coke, spitting it out on the table.  
Taylor looks at me shocked, quickly getting up from her seat and patting me on my back.

“Oh God, are you okay?” I just nod, cleaning the mess I've made with a napkin.

She sits back, looking at me worried.

“You were saying?”

“Oh, right.. yeah, there's a rumor around the office. They say that the asshole has a secret affair!”

It takes all my self control, to look calm and disinterested at the new information.

“Well.. I feel bad for whoever has to placate that ass in bed... am I right?” I snort, rolling my eyes.

She laughs, nodding in agreement.

Then I feel like I have to ask.

“Why they suspect he's having a secret affair?”

She picks up a slice of pizza, taking a bite.

“I don't really know.. It's just a rumor.”

I feel anxiety running all over me.

“Yes.. but, I mean.. there must have been something that made that rumor start in the first place..”

“What are they saying exactly?” and then the words keep flowing out of my mouth “And who they think the other guy is?”

“Whoa.. keep calm, officer” Taylor says holding up her hand looking at me quizzically.

I feel my pulse racing and my heart beating faster. A rush of anxiety rising up from the pit of my stomach, making me feel like I'm going to throw up in any moment.

“Jude, are you okay?” Taylor asks, and I just nod..

I can't verbally reply to her because I feel my throat dry, and sweat running down my face.

“You're pale as a ghost!” Taylor gasps, getting up from the table.. she helps me getting up on my feet, holding me up with her arm.

“I got you.. let's go, I'll take you home.”

 

 

I woke up in my own bed, wrapped in my comforter.

“Oh good, you're awake.” A Femine voice breaks the silence of the room and I open my eyes.

“Hey D.”

She looks worried and paler than ever.

“You look like shit.”

She laughs, running her hand through her dark curls.

“You scared the hell out of me!” She Says, sitting up on the edge of my bed. I sit up, resting with my back against the headboard.

“W-what happened?” I ask, and then the events of the afternoon started streaming through my mind.

I let out a gasp.

“I have to go to work!” Daria pushes me back with her hand as I'm trying to get up from the bed.

“You are staying home, I called your boss and explained the situation.”

My eyes widen, Daria called Connor?

“Y-You called my boss?”

She nods, looking at me confused.

“Of course I called him”

“A-and what did he say?” She keeps looking at me like I'm an imbecile.

“He says he understood and he said to take care of yourself.”

I refuse to blush at this, even though I feel my lips tugging up.

Daria looks at me like I'm an alien, getting up from my bed.

“I'll let you rest.. you clearly need it.” She says, letting out a concerned sigh.

“Thanks mommy.”  
“Call me if you need anything” She says, before heading out of the room.

I let out a sigh, checking on my phone. There are three messages and an unanswered call from him.

My heart flutters.

I open the first text.

From Taylor.  
“Feel better! And don't worry... I forgive you for throwing up on my new Prada's.”

Despite feeling bad about ruining her shoes, I burst out in laughters.

I open the other two messages.

From Mr. Stevens.

“Your friend just called me.. I hope you'll feel better soon.”

And then:

“If you ever need a nurse , I'm always available after 7 pm.”

I feel my hands shaking as I'm holding up the phone to my ear, hearing it ringing and ringing.

He's not gonna answer it, and if he does what am I going to say? What If he can't talk?

He finally picks up, and I feel a tightening grip inside of my chest.

“Hey.” I let out a sigh of relief, hearing a smile through his warm voice.

“Hi.. I hope I'm not bothering you...”

“Of course not.” He says “ How are you feeling?”

I shift on my bed, lying on one side.

“I'm feeling better..” Even though, just thinking about the rumors spreading around the office is enough to make me feel sick.

“I'm glad to hear it..” He says softly.

And now, may I add, hearing his soft warm voice telling me that he's glad I'm feeling better, is enough to make me feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

“Are you there?”

“Um.. yes, I'm here.. just thinking.” _About you._

“Okay..” He says, and then with teasing voice he says “Have you thought about my offer?”

I feel my cheeks getting warm and I let out an awkward giggle.

“I'm very tempted to accept your services Mr. Stevens.. but my flat mate is at home, tonight.”

“Ah... that's a shame” He says. His voice filled with fake disappointment.

“I'm quite requested.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes.. There's a waiting list for my nursing services, and you just throws it out the window” He says, and I can imagine him shaking his head in fake outrage.

I let out a laugh.

“You're laughing at me now?”

I laugh harder, and I feel my stomach hurt.. for good reason though.

“You make me laugh”

He lets out a sigh, and I bet he's biting his lips.

“I have to go.”

“Okay.. thank you.”  
“For what?”

“For this”

“Anytime.” He says “Feel better.”

“Thanks..” He let out a fond sigh, before hanging up the phonecall.

I keep smiling like a stoner, closing my eyes and hugging the pillow to my chest until I'm drifting off to sleep.

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11.

Connor's pov.

 

“Don't you think it's too much?” I ask Mariana, looking at the huge ballroom set up for this party.

She shrugs her shoulders.

“I think It's perfect.” She concludes, taking a look around.

She booked the ballroom of the most prestigious and expensive hotel in Los Angeles.

She's crazy.

“You're crazy.”

She smiles.

“He's gonna love this!”

People start showing up, mostly my family members.

My grandma can't stay away from me, she keeps hugging me and pinching my cheeks.

“Ohh.. My Cocobear.”

I feel my cheeks going on fire, Mariana almost chokes on her champagne at the mention of the nickname.

“Grandma..” throughout my entire life, from my teenagers age to my adult age, I've always begged her to stop calling me that.

“Where's your man?” She asks at some point. I glance at Mariana who hides a smirk behind her champagne flute.

“I'm here on my own.” She looks at me with narrowing eyes, trying to figure out the meaning of what I've just said.

It's smart actually. Because I've said that I'm here on my own, but I didn't lie about where my man is or about not having a man.

“Don't you think this ballroom is actually too big for only our family?” I ask Mariana at some point.

She gives me a confused look, and then she says:

“Um.. no.. because I invited the stuff too.”

My eyes crack open at the new piece of information.

“You what?”

She frowns, but before she has the chance to reply David shows up with his father.

“Hey you.” He says with a wink, and then he addresses to Mariana “Thanks for the invitation.”  
I'm trying to keep a cool face, even though I'm boiling of rage.

Damn Mariana.

While she talks with David's billionaire father about her career, his deceitful son approaches me.

“You know.. I've been thinking, I can drop the old man here with your sister and we can sneak out to one of the rooms upstairs..”

My eyes widen comically.

“Are you fucking insane?”  
He shushes me with a finger on my lips, and then he whispers in my ear:

“You're right... I'm sorry, it would be disrespectful since you father hasn't shown up yet”

I roll my eyes, and then he adds:

“We'll sneak out later."

My lips tug down into a frown, and suddenly one boy coming in through the huge glass door get all of my attention.

“Excuse me.”

David nods, intruding in Mariana and his father's conversation as I'm walking to the other side of the ballroom, towards him.

“Hey..” He says smiling.

I give a look around us and there's my grandma with my cousins and other family members. My Grandma is looking at me with a mischievous smirk on her lips.

“Um... Hello, Jacob.”

His smile fades a bit, but it's still there. He understands, hopefully.

“Hello Mr. Stevens.”

I spot my father coming in the room blindfolded, led by Jesus. He takes it off , and my father's eyes spark with surprise and a bit of emotion.

“Happy Birthday Adam!!” There's a general scream echoing through the ballroom, and my father laughs in happiness when everyone start clapping their hands.

Everyone greets him and my father is soon drained by the crowd of guests.

I spend some time catching up with my cousins and when I ask them where Grandma is, they point out that she's talking to someone.

I turn around and she's talking to Jude.

“Hey beautiful.” It was meant to my grandma, because I always call her that, but both of them turn around.

Jude obviously blushes violently.

“Cocobear!” She says, and Jude starts laughing. He realizes he's laughing, and with eyes blown wide he bits his lips.

_He's so fucking sexy, God._

He looks at me again, and he can't help himself but laughing again.

“Oh God, I- I'm so sorry!” He says, completely red in the face, putting his hands on his mouth to cover his laughters.

My grandma laughs, patting him on his back.

“Don't worry dear..”

“Can I have this dance?” I ask to my Grandma and she nods, pinching once again my poor cheeks.

As we're walking past Jude, heading to the dance floor, I hear him saying through an amused snort: “Cocobear.” before bursting out in laughters.

“Shut up.”

 

We slow dance till the song ends and David approaches us on the dance floor.  
“Can I have this dance?” He asks me, and I feel myself panicking. I can't make people suspicious about me and Jude, but I don't want to hurt his feeling either, by dancing with another dude.

“Um.. “ I feel my voice shaking as I'm speaking to him “I-I think I'll go get a drink.. I'm thirsty.. Excuse me.”

I give them both a smile, and then I try to get away as far as possible from him.

 

 

At some point, while my father is thanking us for planning this amazing surprise birthday party, I let out a gasp.

“Oh God no.”

On the other side of the room, David is standing next to Jude.

From their expression I can tell that whatever David is saying to Jude, he's not liking it.  Jude looks straight at me, before turning around and getting out of the room.

I've never ran so fast in my entire life.

He knows I'm rushing after him outside of the hotel. He notices, Because he speeds up on his steps, until he finally stops on his tracks, probably waiting for a cab.

“Hey..” I touch him on his arm, but he doesn't look at me, shrugging off my touch like it's burning like fire.

“I told you I'm not your whore.” He says with voice cold and filled with hurt. “You made it clear that you weren't screwing around with anyone else.”

“I did, and it's true.”  
He gives a sad hollow laugh, finally turning his face towards me.

“Don't feed me with your bullshit, Boss.” He says.

“What did he tell you?”

“It doesn't matter. You lied to me.”

“I didn't, I Swear.”

He keeps looking ahead, and I feel my chest filling with pain.

“W-we used to hang out.. a long time ago.”

“Hang out.” he repeats, lifting up an eyebrow.

“Yes.. we hooked up twice.” and when he lets out a hollow laugh, I rush to make it clear “But it ended way before we started.. hooking up.”

He glares at me, and I miss his smile already.

I try to reach out for his arm, and he doesn't slap away my touch this time.

“You invited him knowing that I was gonna be here. Tell me what I should think about this.”  
“I didn't.” His lips part in surprise, letting out a gasp.

“W-what?”

“I didn't know you were coming..” his surprise turns into anger in no time.

“Oh well, of course.. so that you two could have gone upstairs, just like you had planned!”

“I swear, that's not true.” I don't care how fucking desperate I sound. I don't want him to think that I would do something like this to him.

He snorts, smiling sadly at me before saying:

“How I'm suppose to believe you? You told me like 10 minutes ago that you two used to exchange body fluids once."

He looks away, letting out a distressful sound out of his throat.

The cab arrives and I feel my stomach chenching. I don't want him to go.

"Can you hear me out?"

He turns around, throwing one glacial look at me, before getting in the cab.

"I'll see you at work" He says sharply, before slamming the cab's door.

 


	12. chapter 12.

Jude Pov.

 

Why again he's standing next to me? And again.. what is he rambling about?

Oh yeah.. hooking up.

“.. I mean, this party is so boring... I'm glad I'll have some entertainment later, if you know what I mean.” He winks.

Oh, I know what you mean.. speaking of, where's Connor again?

I give him a polite nod, looking around. Oh there he is, talking with his father and siblings. He looks so mouthwatering in that suit. God. I feel myself drooling over him. David must have noticed, because he gives a snort.

I snap back into reality, finally deeming him worthy of my gaze.

“What?”

He shrugs, nodding his head towards Connor's direction.  
“Now I get it.” He says with amused voice. “You have a crush on him” and then with the fakest, high pitched voice ever he adds “Aww, that's so sweet!”

I suddenly feel my throat getting dry and my voice starting to crack.

“W-what?” I let out a weak laugh “No.. you totally got it wrong, Simpson.”

“He's my boss.” I explain, noticing his doubtful eyes looking at me, trying to keep my voice steady.

“It's not like he's one of your sibling.” He points out casually, and that thought creeps me out. Imagining Connor as my sibling. Gross. Ew.

“Anyway..” He says, letting out a dramatic sigh “I'm really glad you don't like him.”

I do.. I really, really do.

But what does he mean?

“What do you mean?”

“Well..” He bits his lips, before saying “We have a hot date planned for later, upstairs... so, the last thing I want is to make things awkward.” He concludes with fake innocence.

I believe, the first thing he wants is to make things awkward.

He smirks, noticing how my lips tug down in a sad frown. I feel tears at the corner of my eyes threatening to fall.

I can't cry, I would basically admit that I have a crush on him; But the thought of them hooking up upstairs, makes me sick.

I feel my stomach clenching. How could he? I close my eyes, letting out a deep breath.

How delusional I was to think that I was somehow special to him? That I wasn't just one of his whore? I feel so angry with him, and pissed and betrayed.

He fucking knew, and still. He'd treated me like his whore this whole time.

I'm looking at him from distance, and the moment he turns his eyes into my direction looking at me all smiling and happy , makes me feel even angrier.

See? How his smile turns into a confused frown? That's the last straw.

“Excuse me.”

David gives me a nod, still looking at me with his fucking smirk on his lips.

  
I know he's running after me. I hear his fancy shoes squeaking with each step on the marble's floor.

I rush on my steps out of the hotel, but then I think: “What's the point?” It's not like I'm running away from him. Well, I kind Am, but just because after what David told me I can't look at his face without feeling disgusted.

Cocobear of my ass.

I slow down on my tracks, until I feel his hand on my arm stopping me.

“ _Don't touch me.”_ I can't utter those words out loud, because I think my body language speaks louder than words. He take it off immediately.

What comes next is a messy conversation about me telling him that I'm not his whore, and him defending himself telling me that's not true and that he only hooked up with David twice.

Wait what?

Unbelievable. Why didn't he tell me this before? The topic came out and yet he didn't tell me. Why? I know we're not a couple, and I know that I probably sound like a jealous boyfriend.

Thing is, I'm aware of the nature of our relationship, and I've accepted the fact that I'm attracted to my boss, and that I might have some feelings for him.. but I cannot stand someone lying to me.

_Been there, done that._

Coming back to the apartment you used to share with your boyfriend and catching the said boy (you've been together with for 8 years) playing in bed with someone else. That's Not cool.

He tries very hard to explain, and at some point I feel myself almost caving in into his lame excuses.

But then I remember what it feels like, the feeling of being backstabbed and the awful feeling of Not being enough printed in my mind and underneath my skin afterwards.

I remember the endless conversations with Taylor, crying into her arms.

“ _I wasn't enough for him.”_ and _“Nobody's ever gonna love me”_ and _“I'm such a failure”_

I remember getting drunk, until my brain was so clouded that finally the mean voices stopped streaming through my head.

I can't hear anymore of these bullshit, I have to go home.

My voice comes out cold and sharp.

“I'll see you at work.”

 

The following day, I'm standing in front of Adam's desk and he looks at me with a puzzled expression on his face, before giving a nod.

“Sure.. Jacob, I mean It's on a short notice but if you need to be with your family...”  
“Thank you sir.” I give him a nod, smiling.

“I think every one of the stuff already had their week off work.” He points out.

“I'm sorry again, I should have told you sooner.. but my sister is in labour.”

He nods, smiling warmly.

“No problem Jacob. Family is everything.”

Crap. Don't make me feel guilty, man.

“Thank you again sir.”

He gestures me to go, but before stepping outside he calls me.

“Jacob?” I turn around.

“Yeah?”

“I'll make sure my son is informed about this.”

I feel my breath catching in my throat and I give him a weak nod, before stepping outside of the building.

 

I turn off my phone throughout the flight from Los Angeles to San Diego, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

After coming home last night, My mom called me telling me that Callie was in labour.

“What? I though that was gonna take another week!”

“Yeah! She's in labour Jude!!” She shrieked in happiness, and I found myself laughing in happiness along with my mom.

The moment I step into the hospital room, my whole family is gathered there.

“Jude, honey!” my mom greets me, and ahe gestures me to come closer to the bed where CAllie is resting, with the most beautiful baby girl I've ever seen in my entire life, in her arms.

And I'm not saying this because she's my niece.

“Oh..” Callie smiles at me looking down at her baby. She's wrapped in a pink blanket and she's so tiny and dark haired.

“She's just like you” Callie laughs when her husband Matt clears his throat.

“Oh come on..” I give him a short hug “You know she is.”

Matt smiles, coming forward to the bed. She takes the baby into his arms, gesturing me to hold her.

“Every one held her.” and then at my scared look, he says “Come on, Uncle Jude.”

At that, my heart fills with warmth. These are the most precious moment in a person's life.

I hold her into my arms, and my heart starts beating at some scary pace.  
“Don't be nervous.” CAllie says.

“What's her name?” I ask them, feeling my voice cracking a bit.

“Julia,” They answer at the same time.

“Hello Julia..” She opens her eyes, looking up at me. I'm convinced she's gonna cry, but she looks up at me instead, parting her tiny lips letting out small puffs of air.

She's the cutest thing ever.

“Welcome to our family..” I feel my eyes tearing up when I hand her my finger and she wraps her tiny little hand around it.

This is the best day of my life, and of course it have to be ruined.

“Oh.” I gesture to Matt to take the baby as I'm pulling out my buzzing phone out of my pocket.

“Everything okay?” Mom asks, noticing me rolling my eyes.

“yeah.. I'll be right back.”

  
“Hello?” I ask, closing the door behind me.

“Seriously?” He says bitterly, letting out a laugh.  
“And good evening to you too, Boss.”

“I don't know what it's more childlish.” He says, letting out another laugh, I swear I'm about to hang up the phonecall. “..you taking your week off work like that, just out of the blue ;or you having the decency to inform my father and not me.” He seems very pissed. “I'm your boss!” He spits out.

“Your father is your boss and the owner of the company!” I reply, feeling a burning anger spreading through all over me.

“Is this about what happened?” He asks, his voice seems lower and a bit more measured.

“No.. my sister was in labour.”

“What a coincidence!” He replies sarcastically.

I'm hating him right now, how fucking dare he?

“You know what? I don't owe you an explanation.. I asked your father, and he had no objections about it.”  
He stays in silence, and for few seconds I can hardly hear a sound from the other end of the line.

I check if the call is still on. It is.

“Okay, I really need to go..”

I finally hear a short breath, like a whimper. I close my eyes, gulping down. The sound of his small, weak, low pitched voice is enough to hit me right in the chest.

“Okay.”

Neither of us hang up, and in another circumstance it would have been sweet.

But why does it feel like once we're gonna end the phone call we're gonna end this thing too?

“Say something.” He says, sounding like a plea.

“I'll see you in a week.”

“Jude..” He says with a feeble voice, like he's on the verge of tears.

I feel my eyes glistening with tears and my heart racing in its heartbeats. I never thought that hearing my name out of his lips, would have elicited some deep, heart stopping sparks running down my spine.

I'm instantly closing my eyes, feeling tears running free over my cheeks.

Why I had to fall for this man? For this man that I could never have? And then David, and the mess if his father ever finds out.. I feel drained, and we're not even in a proper relationship.

“I have to go.”  
“Jude.” He says once again, and I can't help but wonder if he's aware that he's calling me by my first name?

I let out a deep breath, rubbing my forehead.

“Listen, we'll talk when I'm coming back to LA, okay?”

“Okay..”

“I really have to go now..”

“Yes, you should go.” he agrees.

“Bye.”

“Bye Jude.”

I hang up the phonecall, and when I turn around there's my mom resting with his back against the wall. When did she even come out of the room?

She gives me a sympathetic smile.

“mom, dont.”

“What?” She asks smiling.

“Don't give me the: 'He doesn't deserve you if he makes you this miserable' kind of speech” She gives a giggle, hugging me tightly.

“I wasn't.” She says “ I was gonna give you the: 'everything is gonna be fine' speech” I pull away from our embrace, looking at her with wide eyes.

“Seriously?”  
She nods.

“Tell me more about this guy.” She says. When I tell her everything she seems surprised, and even a bit worried..

“He's your boss?” She asks bewildered, and she gives a awkward laugh when I just nod to her.

“Wow.” She says “You really like this guy.” She concludes, smirking over her cup of coffee.

“What do you mean?”

“You're not exactly reckless..”

She has a point.

“You never would have started, whatever this is, if you weren't totally into this person” She points out.

“You're right.”

“Then what's the problem?” She asks holding my hand. I tell her about David and the aftermath of our discussion.

“Jude.” She gives me a stern look, letting out a sigh “You really trust what this guy told you?”  
When I don't give her a reply, she says:

“Jude.. this guy hit on your boss, then hit on you, then when you didn't cave into his flirting, he hit on your boss again... How can you possibly trust him?” She asks with incredulous voice.  
“They hooked up once.” twice, actually.. but, still.

“You hooked up with other guys before him.?” She asks with a furrowed eyebrow.

I didn't. I went on dates.. but never opened myself to another man like I did with Gabriel, and..Connor I guess.

“I didn't.. hook up with anyone after what happened with Gabriel.” Saying his name still makes me feeling nauseous, after all this time.

 “Okay, let's focus on this guy now.”  
“Connor.”

“Yes, Connor.” She repeats his name with a smile on her lips “ He's risking too you know. I don't know him, but I don't think he didn't think thoroughly this whole thing, when you two started hooking up.”.

“Thank you mom.” and then “ I love you”

She hugs me once again.

“I love you too Jude.”

 

The days fly by, and on the third day as I'm gently cradling Julia in my arms sitting on my mom's couch, I get a text from him that just leaves me breathless and confused.

From Connor: “Meet me at THE US GRANT at 9 pm. Room 202.”

My breath gets shallow and uneven.

He's here. Connor is here, and he wants to see me.

Now the big question is: I want to see him?

 


	13. chapter 13.

Connor's POV.

 

Three hours.. and still no reply.

This guy drives me crazy, really. What else can I possibly do to show him that I care? That.. I like him?

It's 8.00 pm and After waiting for hours, a reply that never came, I'm kind of losing my hopes.

I begged my father to let me take care of the meeting with the investors in San Diego so that I could have had the chance to talk to him, to explain..

I don't give a crap about the meeting, Jesus would have taken care of it.

I like him. I can't and I wont deny it anymore, it's as clear as day; And knowing that he believes those stupid things David told him, makes me feel even more pissed.

I'm sitting on the bed of this fancy, but at the same time cold, hotel room checking the time every 5 minutes.

I shake my head, covering my face into my hands.

When did I become such a girl about this? I never let guys treat me like a girl. They hit on me, took me to dinner, made everything in their power to get my attention. And now? I'm waiting in silence. The only audible noise is the pace of my heartbeat beating fast against my chest as I bit my nails in frustration and I freak out about every noise from outside.

When my father told me about Jude's week off from work, I obviously showed no interest.

“That's cool.” I said to him; Cold and unaffected on the surface. But inside It felt like something just broke.

I felt a sharp pain inside of my chest, spreading through my entire body like a fire. 

My first thought was: “He ran away.” Even if just for a week.. but still. “He ran away from me.”  
I tried to reach out to him and still, no answer; That Until finally he picked up the phone, and I could tell from the broken sound of his voice that he was as hurt as me.

If this was about someone else, some other guy... I wouldn't have bothered.

“It's just a guy, my coscience is clear. If he wants to talk, he knows where to find me.”

I wouldn't have given a crap, truthfully speaking.

I never cared about other people's opinion; But when it comes to him.. it's a totally different story.

He has something that I never encountered in someone else ; He's genuine, brilliant and passionate. He makes me feel sparks whenever he's close to me. He has this smile so blinding that just astonishes me. He's a real pain in the ass sometimes. He's fucking sassy and He challenges me because He's not afraid of me. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He's honest, funny and sweet. I like him, I like everything about him.

Except: where the fuck is he?

I let out a loud groan, checking the time: 9 pm.

“There's still hope” My mind suggests me. It's not like in those sap movies when the character doesn't show up at 9 PM sharp, and it necessarily means it's over.

I have to consider traffic, the size of this hotel and the multitudes of floors.. maybe he got lost. Yes that's probably like that.

 

It's 9.40 Pm and I'm lying on my bed ; Drinking vodka and eating crappy chocolates provided by the hotel.

I part my lips, staring at the ceiling absentmindedly, before letting it fall into my mouth.

“I'm so lame..” I groan, grabbing the bottle and taking a long sip.

“He's lame.” my tipsy rant has officially begun “I'm done.”

“He thinks I'm gonna show To his parents house with roses, saying: Juuudee, pleasee forgive me!!”

I'm well aware that my voice isn't that high pitched, and I'm talking on my own as I'm devouring these crappy chocolates. Oh, they're heart shaped... so cute.

I let out another groan before grabbing the box and throwing it against the wall.

“Fuck you.!”

“Um..” a sudden voice makes me turn around.

Jude's watching me with wide eyes standing on the room's threeshold, biting his lips.. probably refraining a laugh to come out.

I immediately sit up, straightening up my clothes.

He's standing completely freezed in his spot, looking at me like I'm a freak.

“Wh-” Okay, I can't even formulate basic sentences.. “How?”

He smiles, waving the keycard.

“You told the receptionist to give me the key of the room.”

I cover my face in my hand, letting out an awkward laugh.

Crap.

“It's okay...” He says, finally taking some step forward “Your brain is so drowned with alcohol that you probably forgot it ever happened.”

I lift up my eyes and he takes a seat on my bed, right next to me.

“I missed your sassiness.”

He smiles; it's a good sign right?

“I feel bad for those chocolates though.” He teases, looking at the smashed box on the floor.  
“They looked pretty fancy.” He says.

“They tasted like crap.”

He giggles, and I can't help but say: “I missed you.”

My voice comes out so weakly that maybe he hasn't even heard, but then his eyes lit up with something resembling joy mixed with.. guilt.

“I missed you too.” He breathes out, his voice weaker than mine, if that's even possible.

I reach out for his hand, gently grabbing it into mine; I can feel him shiver.

“I would have never done that to you.” He nods, but I keep talking “You have to believe me.”

“I believe you..” He whispers. Looking back at me with eyes vulnerable and scared.

I almost want to say: I'm as scared as you. But I want this, I want you.

Everything though feels like too much. I know what I feel, but I'm just not sure that his feelings are as deep as mine.

I don't know what he thinks, what he feels, what he wants.

“I'm sorry if I believed to what David told me.. I'ts just..” he takes a deep breath before continuing “I've been cheated on, in the past..” My lips part in surprise and hurt, but before I can give him a reply he rushes to add:

“I- I know we're not in a relationship, and technically it's not cheating, but I can't handle feeling the same pain I've felt in the past.” He starts rambling, gesturing with his hands.

“I- like you.. and all of this scares me because It's all so messy. You're my boss and I'm your assistant a-and if you father finds out I'll be fired.. and you know what's the thing that shocks me the most?” that he's not even blinking, or breathing throughout this rambling? Anyway.. he keeps talking.

“I don't give a crap.” He says letting out a relieved laugh, his eyes filling with light.

“I don't give a crap about getting fired if that means that I can keep.. hanging out with you... and when I think about it...”

I feel my lips tugging up in a wide smile, but I bit my lips, trying to refrain it.

“I feel so guilty, because that's my job we're talking about and the rate of unemployement increase day by day and I will end up homeless, probably living under a bridge...” He finally stops talking, exhaling a deep breath. I finally feel like I can give him a reply and my lips part in anticipation... when..

“You make me feel good, and alive and happy.. and I don't want to lose what we have.” He says, and then He finally stops talking.

He lowers down his gaze, unable to look at me any longer. His gaze is fixed on the bed sheets with a pink blush spreading on his cheeks.

The silence falls in the room.

I feel a huge grin spreading on my lips and my whole body shaking with positive vibes.

“Jude..” he keeps looking down as his lips are parting slightly, letting out short pants.

“Jude.” I lift up his chin and finally he looks up at me.

His eyes are scared like I've never seen it in my entire life.  
“I-I'm scared too.” I admit, feeling my breath getting shallow.

“I don't want to be scared.” He utters with voice low and short.

“We'll figure it out.. together.” He gives me a nod, smiling weakly.

“Whatever happens, we're in this together.” I smile to him, lifting up my pinkie.

He laughs, lifting up his own, intertwining it with mine.

The touch of our fingers makes me feel sparks of happiness all over my body.

He notices of course, smiling widely and then he says, blushing a bit.

“I like it when you say my name..”

My hand caresses his cheek as he lean into my touch, closing his eyes. I lean in, closing the distance between our lips.

Just before our lips touch, he opens his eyes staring deeply into mine.

“Jude..”  
He swallows, closing his eyes again and parting his lips.

“Connor..”  
Hearing my name slipping out of his lips looks like hearing the voice of angels. I don't know how it would sound like, to be honest, but I'm sure it would be close enough.

We finally kiss, letting all the pain and misunderstanding and the fear washing over us. There's just us....

"Jude and Connor.”  
He pulls away, letting out a breathless laugh against my lips.

“What?” Without parting our lips, I explain to him:  
“Right now.. we're not boss and assistant, we're Jude and Connor.”

He nods in agreement, blushing a bit, before connecting our lips once again.

We're unable to keep our hands to ourself. They touch and explore our bodies, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

We undress each other enjoying this slow, teasing pace.

We always had a fast lustful pace during sex, but this is totally sensual and slow. Like neither of us have rush to get things done, and that makes this experience a thousand times better.

We saw each other naked before, but never felt like this.

It's overwelming the need to elicite every possible moan and pant out of his lips, or how our lips feel the need to trail down on our bodies, discover every piece of skin, leaving kisses in their trail.

I could do this all night, I don't want it to stop.

“Connor...” He lets out a needy moan, tightening the grip of his hand behind my neck, holding on to it; as my deep persistent thrusts brings him to orgasm.

You know, this might be the most intense orgasm I've ever had in my entire life and Not because of the sex, or the sensual vibes of the moment.. I mean, yes, that too. But what makes it special and unforgettable is the intimacy, the way Jude's eyes open so slowly and he looks up at me like he just hit the Jackpot. The way he hides his face into the crook of my neck, breathing heavily against my skin, snuggling closer to my chest like it's his safe haven. It's how my heart can't possibly be fuller than this.

Is Jude. Entirely Jude.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is honestly my favourite chapter so far :)


	14. Chapter 14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourself to an extra dose of fluff and hotness.

Jude's Pov.

 

I've lost count of how many times we had sex last night and let me tell you.. every time was better than the previous one.

I'm not sure of what happened to be honest but I'm feeling like something has changed.

His words completely soothed every bit of anxiety and fear I had left. It feels like a clean start.

I let out a content sigh, snuggling against him. His arms are tightly wrapped around my waist pulling me as close as possible to his warm, hard body.

I can't help but smile, feeling his lips against my ear.

“Good morning.” He says in a soothing, calm voice.

I turn around facing him and his arms tighten their grip around my waist. I feel safe and so freaking exhilarated.

“Good morning to you.”

He smiles, and the sight of his warm eyes staring into mine makes me feel like I'm dreaming.

He snaps me back into reality kissing my nose.

“ _Oh God.. I don't want to come back. Someone could please lock me inside of this room forever with him?”_

“ Last night was...”

“Yeah..” I cut him off, feeling a blush spreading on my cheeks. I don't even know why I'm blushing right now since I was in this room with him last night, actively participating.

“When are you leaving?”  
“Are you kicking me out?” He replies jokingly. He's such a dork.

“Of course not.. God, last night was..” I struggle trying to find the right word to describe last night's marathon of sex. “Highly entertaining.”

“Highly entertaining?” He repeats with a furrowed eyebrow and a smirk on his lips.

“And.. very educational.” He laughs, pinning me down, climbing on top of me.

“I could require an.. “ He laughs “Oral exam.”

Oh.

“Yeah?” He nods, leaning in to kiss my lips.

“To make sure you've learned everything correctly.”

I feel my pulse race and blood rushing down, and considering the way he's smirking at me he must have noticed.

“A-and what if I fail this... oral exam? Then what happens?”

He laughs, trailing his lips down on my neck.

“I'll have to teach you all over again.” He replies, lifting up his eyes on mine to watch my reaction.

The answer to that comes out of my lips without missing a beat.

“I'm sorry prof, but I really couldn't pay attention..” He laughs, lifting up on his elbows. “Perhaps you'll need to educate me all over again.. because I really want to broaden my cultural horizons.”

He nods, leaning in again, connecting our lips in a lovely kiss, making sure that this time the “lesson” comes through.

 

“Uuugh.. where are you taking me?!” He laughs. I don't think it's funny at all.

I'm blindfolded, dragged to God knows where. The only thing I can count on, is Connor's tight grip on my hand, leading the way.

“Connor, I swear.. if this is another one of your kinky shit....”

“Do I need to gag you?” he asks, letting out a giggle. He's so adorable, even though I'm not informed about where the fuck is taking me.

“If you think I will play Ana for you...”

He laughs harder, suddenly stopping on his track. We're in the elevator, I can hear the distinguished sound of the door's closing.

“You're more like Mrs. Robinson's kind of character.”

“Ah. Ah. Ah. Not funny.”

I feel his nose brushing against mine, before sucking on my upper lip. I hear myself letting out a soft moan.

“Okay.. I don't know where we are going and you're trying to give me a raging boner right now. You're mean, dude.”

“Is this a complain?” He asks, trailing his mouth down my neck, leaving open mouthed kisses on my skin.

“Not at all.”

“Good.” he says, before pulling away.

“Come on..” He says as soon as the doors slide open “This way..”

 

He opens a door, leading me inside and the smell of this room immediately hits me.

_Chlorine._

“Pool.”

He gives a soft laugh, taking off the blindfold.

“Clever.”

I feel myself freezing for few seconds, trying to elaborate.

“Why are the only people in here?”

He wraps his arms around my waist, hugging me from behind.

“You don't want to be alone with me?” I can feel his smirk, trailing on the skin behind my ear, giving me a multitude of chills running down my spine.

_Hell yes._

“Sure.. It's just weird that there's no one in here.”  
My gaze shifts towards the chairs at poolside. There's a tiny table between them with a bucket on it, containing a bottle of red wine , two glasses and appetizers. A lot.

“Oh my God.”  
I can hear him laughing behind me and asking me with an enthusiastic tone if I like it.

He's a puppy. Seriously, who would have thought.

I let out a laugh.

“Like it? I love it.. I seriously feel like Ana right now.” And then I turn around, bringing up my arms around his neck.

“You didn't have to..”  
“Before I go back, I want to leave you with a nice memory of this day together.”

See? Totally a puppy.  
I'm seriously astonished that behind that cold, asshole mask is hidden this sweet, caring and wonderful man.

“What?” he asks, probably noticing the wonder on my face.

I shake my head, laughing.

“You're amazing, Connor Stevens.” He blushes profusely.

“I made you blush!!” I'm totally excited by this accomplishment.

“Oh shut up.” He says, taking off his shirt.

“Now we're talking.”  
I can't believe my own boldness. Who is this person, even. I don't recognize myself anymore.

“You're planning to swim with your jeans on?” He asks with a teasing smile, taking off his jeans, standing there, looking completely ravishing in only his brief.

God if you exist: “Thank you!”

“I didn't bring my swimming suit.” He laughs loudly shaking his head at my naiveness, before heading towards the poolside.

“Who said we need one?” He asks cheekily, before letting fall on the floor, his last piece of clothes.

Oh. Well.

I'm sure my mouth is literally hanging open right now, probably drooling.

I mean.. How could I ever turn down an offer like this? This glorious man is standing naked, looking at me with hungry, blazing eyes.. probably swearing at me in his mind to get my clothes off as soon as possible and join him in this reckless idea.

My eyes glance at the door.

“Jude.” He says with a frustrated pitch in his voice “No one is coming in here but you. Chill. Jeez.”

I can't help but laughing loudly at the innuendo, starting to get rid of my clothes as fast as I can.

When I'm finally out of my clothes, I walk towards him with a mischievous smile on my lips.

“What's that devious smile, Jacob?”  
“Don't you fucking dare.” He warns me with a serious face. Sadly.. it's too late. I give him a push and his glorious body falls in the pool.

He comes out of the water coughing and I can't help but smile at the sight of his wet hair and droplets of water falling down his face.

He's so perfect.

“You're so dead.” He tries to intimidate me and it works, because suddenly he grabs me by my arms pulling me down with him.

He jokingly pushes me underwater, taking deep breaths everytime I get back on the surface, and then he pushes me down again.

He laughs. He's amused. The asshole.

“Okay.. I think you You've learned your lesson.” He proclaims, wrapping my legs around my waist. We stay like that for few minutes, His arms holding me and my hands lancing around his neck. We're Just looking at each other. Then he kisses me, and I kiss him back. He pushes my body against the pool wall and when he tries to deepen the kiss I pull away slightly.

“What's wrong?” He asks with concern in his voice. My gaze shifts once again towards the door.

“Connor.. what if someone comes in..”

He rolls his eyes, letting out a groan.

“I've booked this room, just for us.”  
My eyes widen comically.  
“What?”

“I've booked this-”  
“No. I heard you.”

This man, Seriously. He makes me feel things I've never felt in my entire life.. I mean, I've felt it with Gabriel.. we were serious, like very very serious. But this, feels right and real.

“God, Connor.” My lips seals with his and he promptly kisses me back, his tongue sliding immediately inside of my mouth.

I let out a moan, when he pushes me even further against the pool wall. I'm literally stucked between the tiles and his hunky chest. Our hips constantly grinding against each other creating a delicious friction between our bodies that makes me see stars behind my eyelids.

“You make lose my mind.” He moans, when my lips find his sweet spot on his neck, sucking vigorously, as my hands grip at his hair.

“It's mutual.”

“I'm so glad I came here.” My words get muffled by his lips on mine dragging my bottom lip between his teeth while one of his hand disappears under water, wrapping around my throbbing erection.

“Oh yes.. Connor, please.” He feels satisfied by my praises. He smirks, letting out a moan, as he trails his lips from my mouth to my neck biting and sucking.

My hand isn't idle... “Oh Jude fuck.” ….Wrapping around his dick.

“Oh yes.. you make me feel so good baby.”He moans on the blink of orgasm. I release a surprised gasp at the endearment. I like it. It turns me on even more.

We come at the same time, his moans are muffled against my neck while my pants fill the air, echoing through the whole room.

“Oh God...” Connor pants , looking up at me. I have my eyes closed, letting out shallows intake of breath.  
I suddenly can't breathe, my chest is lifting up heavily inhaling and letting out deep breaths.

I feel like my heart is going to explode right now, flying out of my chest and shattering against that huge window glass.

I can barely feel his arms tightening their grip around me, holding me up.

“Jude?” I finally open my eyes, feeling a huge smile spreading on my lips.

“I was worried.”

“It was intense.” He nods, agreeing with my statement and then he takes my hand, resting it on his chest, directly on his heart.

“Not only for you.”

His heart is beating as fast as mine and that makes me realize that maybe, afterall, I can still learn to love again. In this moment I come to realization that Connor Stevens is slowly healing my broken, shattered heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm assuming everyone read fifhy shades of grey xD but for who hasn't read it :  
> Ana and Mrs. Robinson are references from that saga :)


	15. Chapter 15.

Jude's pov.

 

It's the first time I'm entering this buildind feeling nothing but excited. Really.. I thought I would have never seen this day coming.

“Jude!” I turn around, watching an overexcited Mariana approaching me with a huge smile on her face.

“Hey Mari.” I'm greeting her with the same enthusiasm.  
“I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow.” She points out with a teasing, allusive tone in her voice.

“Um.. Yeah, I just need to talk with Mr. Stevens about something.” _Very subtle, Jude._

“Well.. go ahead” She says. “He's hiding into his office.”  
“Thanks, Mari..”  
“Oh, Jude.” She says suddenly. I stop on my track turning my face towards her.  
“Yeah?” She reaches for me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “Thank you.. for making Connor a happier guy.”  
I feel warmth spreading through my chest at her words as I return the warm gesture.

Truth to be told.. I'm a happier guy, because of him.  
I pull away, smiling softly before opening the door, stepping into Connor's office.  
  
As soon as I step inside I'm welcomed by the view of Connor's perfect ass.

I know, I sound like I'm dying of thirst. But really... how I'm not suppose to check him out after getting (more than) a taste?

He's talking on the phone, standing with his back turned towards me, looking absentmindedly at the breathtaking view of Los Angeles.

He's completely unaware of my presence and I think I'll take advantage of that. Before realizing it I'm crossing the room in few strides until I'm standing right behind him, feeling my heart pounding hard against my chest. If I have to be completely honest it's not the only thing, twitching hard right now.

My arms wrap around his waist and he goes rigid for a moment before giving a quick glance from over his shoulders, relaxing into my arms.

He keeps blabbering on the phone with his father as my hand starts trailing downwards, cupping him through the soft pattern of his pants.

He whimpers, letting out the most indiscernible moan as my hand tightens the pressure on his growing erection.

He's engaged in a endless conversation with his father, filling him in with details about his business trip in Tokyo, when he lays his head on my shoulder, leaning closer to my body, seeking more of my touch.

As he talks on the phone he tries to keep his voice steady, but I know how wrecked it really is. He closes his eyes as he keeps listening absentmindedly to his father's rambling.

“Jude..” he silently mouths, letting out a inaudible sigh as my hand pulls down the zipper of his pants.

I step around him, dropping on my knees and his breath catches in his throat when my itching hands are pulling down his pants and brief in one smooth motion.

“Listen Dad.. I really need to-”

I feel the need to touch him and taste him. Three days without it and I feel like I've been drowning with want.

His eyes looks down at me, his lips are parting slightly in anticipation, letting out the most inaudible sighs.

I close my eyes as my mouth wraps around his erection, feeling it heavy and hard against my tongue.

I feel his whole body convulsing so I lift up my eyes to see what's going on and the sight makes me almost come inside of my pants.

He looks ravishing. Sweat running down his forehead, lips parted letting out the quietest moans, his eyes blazing into mine as a lustful, filthy light is sparkling in it.

“Dad, I really need to...” He lets out a desperate sigh. “ Go.” he lets out a groan, this time in frustration, as he runs his free hand over his face , wiping some sweat off his forehead.

“No.. Dad. I have a meeting.” He smirks down at me as I'm bobbing my head up and down, before adding. “With a client.”

He laughs, shaking his head as a pink blush starts creeping on his cheeks.

“Yes Dad.” He looks down at me again as he says. “I'll definitely nail it.”  
I almost chocke on his dick. I pull away and despite his whimper of dissatisfaction, I hide my face against his groin, trying to muffle the laughter escaping from my lips.

He gives a giggle, caressing the strands of my hair as he finally hangs up the phonecall.

“Hi.” I look up at him and a gorgeous, perfect, blinding, wide, breathtaking smile spreads on his lips.

“Hello, Boss.” He smirks, pulling me up.

“Come here.” he says, before wrapping his arms around my waist. I have to comply.. I can't deny anything to him so I just throw myself into his open arms..

“Hi..” He sighs against my lips before sealing it with his own.

I'ts been three days and I was going crazy without him the whole time, without his touch or listening the sound of his soft voice.

I came back a day early, because I couldn't function anymore. I was craving him, and I was feeling desperate to fill that unpleasant void in my chest.

He pulls away leaving me breathless as his wonderful hazel eyes are looking right through me.

“I missed you.” The words slip out of my lips so easily in a way that astonishes me.

When was the last time I've felt so genuinely happy? Just the thought of it brings back on surface awful, yet shattered, memories.

_Hands. Betrayal. Obsession. Pain. Livids. Bruises. Hospital._

These broken fragments of memories are flowing like a endless loop through my mind.

“Hey..” He says lifting up my chin. “Are you okay?” his soft voice breaks my endless train of thoughts as I lift up my gaze, looking into his eyes, filled with concern.

A small, yet strained, smile starts spreading on my lips and I realize that it just takes one look into his brightful eyes to make everything worth.

I give him a nod as I start drawing circles on his chest with my finger.

“I was thinking..”

“mm?” He starts gently caressing my hip, sending waves of chill running down my spine.

“Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?”

“Of course.” He replies without missing a beat. I let out a sigh of relief, even though I knew he would have accepted my invitation.  
“Cool.” I pull away from our embrace, and he lets out a disappointed sigh.  
“What's wrong, Cocobear?” He laughs at the nickname and he's perfect. He really is. How did I get so lucky?

“Where are you going?” He asks furrowing an eyebrow in confusion, looking at me with the most adorable pout on his lips.

“I'm going home.. I'll bring my A game and all of my cooking skills in order to surprise you tonight.”

I kiss him one more time on the lips, before turning on my heels heading towards the office door.

Before leaving the office he calls my name.  
“Yeah?”  
He lets out an awkward giggle, looking down.. and nodding his head towards the massive bulge in his pants.

“Um.. you're king of forgetting something.”

A smirk appears on my lips, opening the door.

“Patience is a virtue, Mr. Stevens.” I reply to him with a teasing tone in my voice before closing the door behind me. I get outside of the bulding thinking about his annoyed face and an amused giggle escapes from my lips at the thought of the raging boner in his pants.

 

\--------

 

I put my best efforts into this dinner settling The dim lights, the soft candles, the music, the food. I just hope he will like it.

I hear the familiar sound of my doorbell ringing and I rush towards the entryhall.

Before opening the door I give a quick glance at my mirrow reflection and as I'm fixing my hair one small detail gets my attention.

I'm smiling. I smiling and I haven't even realized it. The thought of it makes me smile even more, because I'm happy. I'm genuinely happy. And it's all on Connor.

I bit my lips, inhaling sharply before opening the door.

My smile falls off my lips completely. I even feel my entire face falling.

He smiles. Why he's he smiling? Why is he here? What's going on? I think is just a nightmare.

Jude wake up. Wake up right now. No.. it's not working.  
I swallow thickly feeling my throat getting dry as my legs start caving in.

I frantically reach out to the doorframe to steady myself, feeling weak at the knees. he stands completely still, looking at me with a smile on his lips.

“Gabriel.” I breathe out, feeling my voice wrecked and drowned as waves of pure panic start spreading through my entire body.“What the hell do you want from me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! :) so a small announcement:  
> I've decided to focus on this fic for now( because I have the whole fic, sort of, planned out) and the fic I'm writing with SB1, before keep going with my other fics.  
> As usual.. thanks for everyone commenting and leaving kudos and the patience you always have with me and the nice, kind words :) it makes me so happy. Thank you!


	16. Chapter 16.

Connor's pov.

 

When Jude asked me if I wanted to have dinner with him at his place, I felt nothing but inconditional happiness. My mind was completely focused of making this night, one of the best night of our life.

I'm standing outside his building, taking a deep breath, before finally going inside.

The elevator ride isn't too painfully long because he lives on the fourth floor of the building. I step outside and I notice that the door of Jude's apartment is open.

“Jude?” My breath catches in my throat, letting out a distressful sound reaching out to his figure in a split second.

“Jude!” He doesn't reply, or blink, or breathe apparently. He's sitting on the floor resting with his back against the opened wooden door, staring blanky into space.

“Jude!” Nothing. He doesn't even blink. I'm crouching on the floor cupping his face into my hands. I sadly realize that his face is soaked with tears.  
“Jude..” My voice comes out low and feeble and he finally lifts up his eyes; What I'm seeing in this moment breaks my heart. He looks at me with pleading, desperate eyes as his hands tightens his grip on mine.

His mouth falls open, letting out weak puffs of air as he struggles to say my name.

“C-C..” He closes his eyes shut, letting out a sob, before my arms are pulling him off the floor and into my arms.

“Come on..” I lead him towards the couch, sitting down with his trembling body in my arms. He snuggles closer to my chest and I feel air leaving my lungs when he closes his eyes, letting out shallow breaths. We stay in that position for a while with Jude resting his head on my chest as my fingers gently caressing his hair.

“Jude.. You're making me worry. Please..” I feel pain spreading through my body. This broken, trembling boy isn't  _my_ Jude.

“You should go.” He says, and even though his voice is painfully low, he makes it clear that is not a request. My eyes widen comically; Is he serious?  
“I'm not going anywhere.” I hope my resolute tone makes him understand that I'm not joking around. What kind of man would I be, leaving him alone in such a state?  
He pulls away from me, moving until he's sitting at the other end of the couch, wrapping his blanket even tighter around his trembling frame.

“Connor... go.” He whispered, carefully avoiding my eyes. “Please.”

After a moment of hesitation, I get up from the couch; He lets out a sigh of relief quickly turning into a frown when I'm crouching on the floor, across from him.

“Con-”

“I'm not going anywhere!” he flinches at the sharp tone of my voice and for a moment I feel even guilty for raising my voice.

“I'm not leaving you like this!” he gets up from the couch, bringing his white plaid blanket with him.

“Then I'll go.” He announces, closing the door, of what I presume is his bedroom, behind him.

Jude's pov.

 

I'm not sure about how my legs don't cave in throughout the route from the couch to my bedroom, but surprisingly they don't. As soon as I'm standing at the foot of my bed exhaustation takes over my body. My knees feel like jelly and I really try to stay upright but soon enough my body ends up falling on the matress. My mouth falls open, letting out broken sobs. I close my eyes, hearing the distant sound of a door closing.

“He's gone.” I realize as hot tears are falling over my face, wetting the pillow.

I'm alone like I used to, like I deserve to be.. because he made it clear. If he couldn't have me, no one could have ever had me.

 

Flashback.

_The house is quiet as soon as I get home. Surprisingly, oddly quiet._

“ _Hello?” My voice echoes breaking the creepy silence._

“ _Gabriel?” Nothing. Not a voice, not a sound. “That's weird..”_

_He said he would have been home by lunch time ; My first thought is that something happened at the last minute and he had to stay at work.. But it's odd because he would usually leave me a message._

_My woggy legs head upstairs as a start unpleasant feeling starts developing through my chest._

_Our bedroom door is slightly open and something inside of me is screaming to get away, to get the hell out of that house but sadly the rational part of me takes over, deciding to shamelessy listen to my dark foreboding._

_I'm standing there freezed, feeling my heart sinking when I hear soft moans coming through the door, I give it a soft push until the vision of what's going on inside of our bedroom is clear._

_They don't notice my presence at first, of course they don't; They're clearly too busy with their mating ritual to acknowledge that the owner of the house, the soon to be husband, the wrecked mess is standing right in front of them._

_Gabriel is laying on his back as the boy above him keeps pushing with deep persistent thrusts into his ass. I can't see the boy's face and honestly I don't want to. I don't want to see the guy he's been cheating me on with, Because then I would have to face the fact that he'd felt the need to find someone else simply because I wasn't enough for him; enough good, enough hot, enough worthy._

_I just.. Can't. I know I should go over there and beat his ass.. Because honestly finding out that he's having an affair just a month before our wedding it's the lowest of the low, but still, having a breakdown in front of someone that's not worthy of any of my tears, I think it's way worse._

_I let out an involontary sharp intake of breath when I feel my legs finally start moving again, I take few shaking steps heading towards the door when, finally, Gabriel notices me._

_"Jude.” He pants with panic filling his voice and that makes me feel a rush of pain running through my veins, realizing that I would have married this man in a month.  
“Why?” “How could he.” “ Am I not enough?” Questions that keeps flowing through my mind like an endless loop as I try to get out of his reach. He calls me, pleading me to stop and let him explain and I can't help but release a bitter, yet sarcastic, laugh. _

_Explain what exactly? How stupid I'd been this entire time?_

_He stops me just before walking down the stairs, grabbing me by my arm and keeping me still in a tight grip._

_I give a significant glance at the wooden stairs below my feet and a strange, unpleasant, feeling starts creeping through my chest. He lifts up my chin, trying to make me look at him and I give in, even though that's not what I want. I look at him and I realize that in a matter of a second what I've always loved about his deep, loving eyes whose I've always told were pure like snow, is now irreparabily tarnished._

_"Let me go. Now" I close my eyes as I keep pushing him away with all of my strenght, or at least what's left of it._

_I refuse to open my eyes because he doesn't deserve my tears. He's not worthy of my pain. All I want right now is to break his face and leave this house, but sadly his forceful grip doesn't allow it._

_I hear footsteps behind me and it doesn't take a genious to figure that his fuckboy is walking past us, trying to get away from this shitty situation; at that point I can't help it; I open my eyes and I can only take in the details of his well built shouders. He's also wearing a hoodie so I can only glimpse his light blond hair and muscled frame, before he's rushing outside of our house. He has no reason to stay after all, since the party pooper spoiled their fun._

_"No." He says with voice raw and scared as  his eyes are trying to coerce me into looking at him, in a weak attempt to feed me once again with his lies._

_"Jude..." Tears start running free over his face._

  _"Don't you dare." His hand stops mid-air, he knows that touching me would be the biggest mistake of his life; like trusting him was mine._

_"Jude... It's.."_

_"Don't" my sharp voice cut him off, trying to shrugg off his forceful grip. He's too strong._

_"Don't feed me your bullshit, Gabriel." I say to him, feeling my throat getting dry and a tightening pain developing in my chest. I try to hold on until my walls finally break and tears are copiously running over my face._

_I start sobbing endlessy, glaring at him with disgust even though my sight is partially clouded by the tears._

_"It was just-" my eyes widen, finally pushing him away with all the anger I've been holding in, just before the most absurd words would have escaped from his filthy mouth._

_"What?!" I say to him letting out a sad laugh. "It was a mistake?!" And then the vomit of words keeps flowing out of my mouth cesealessy._

_"Let me guess; You slipped and his dick accidentally impaled your ass." I shake my head as my hand wipes away the tears on my face._

_"We were going to get married..." The thought makes my stomach ache. I was ready to commit to this man, spend my whole life with him. He takes a few steps forward, shaking his head in denial as he tries to reach out for me._

_"We still are..."_

_My eyes widen comically, letting out a broken laugh out of my throat._

_"We're not." His arms are grabbing once again , shaking me as his voice comes out in a broken whisper that makes my heart clench even more._

_"We are... Jude, I love you." At those words my heart is shattering in million pieces. I don't want to see him again, he has to disappear from my life, Completely._

_"You don't!" He flinches at the raging tone, blinking few times as I keep blowing out like a vulcano. “I'm not marrying you! Do you seriously think that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life worrying sick every time I'm walking out that door? You told me you loved me, that you were looking forward to spend the rest of our lives together! “_

“ _Jude I'm sorry... I-”  
“There was a man, naked in our bedroom! You had sex with that men, you were enjoying having sex with that man! Go... You can still catch him! I'm not keeping you here any further.”_

_He keeps breathing heavily until his face is completely red, inhaling and exhaling through long, deep breaths._

“ _We're not through.” He says calmy. Too much calmly. “We're not. You're not going anywhere and I'm not seeing him again.” He says like it's the most common thing in the world._

“ _Gabriel, enough.. let go.” I'm getting impatient, he cheated on me and he's implying that I should forgive him and marry him? He's insane._

“ _No.”_

“ _Gabriel-”_

_  
“No!” He screams, roughly pushing me against the wall. I close my eyes feeling pain spreading my whole body._

“ _You and me.. we're a team.”_

_**No.** _

“ _We're gonna get married..” He whispers with tears running down his face. I don't believe him. Everything is lost, shattered, broken._ _Somehow I feel the strenght to push him off me with the intention to run down the stairs, out of his reach and out of his life but, Before pursuing my goal, He roughly holds me by my arm once again._ _He wants to keep me there, with him; He doesn't want me to go anywhere, but something goes wrong. My foot slips and the last thing I remember is his hand loosening the grip on my arm and the harsh pain of my head hitting, hard, the bottom of the stairs._

 

End of flashback.

 

I open my eyes, feeling Connor slipping under the comforter behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“I thought you'd left.”

“How could I ever leave you..” His voice is so sweet and caring that makes me feel an asshole for kicking him out.

My hands reach out to touch his fingers, gently caressing my hips.

“You don't have to tell me...”

“I want to..” I turn around, facing him. He gasps at the sight of my face red and scratched with tears. His thumb wiping away the wetness under my eyes.

“Whenever you're ready.. I'm here for you.”

I feel like I can say anything to him and he would still be here with me, I love this sensation, I love this safety, I love...

“Jude...” I snap back into reality, looking deeply into his hazel eyes. I give a deep sigh, before telling him everything.

"I was engaged to a man called Gabriel Donovan few years ago."

I suddenly stop talking, curious by the sudden shift of expression on his face. His eyes are widened and his face looking pale.

“Are you okay?” He nods, gesturing me to go on, I leave it at that for now as I keep telling him about the affair, the incident and the hospital; How I was in coma for few weeks and After all I still can't remember some fragments of that period. I remember Gabriel stalking me, sending me threatening letters saying that he was sorry and no one would have ever loved me like he did, no one would ever had me like he did.

His eyes are glossy with tears  throughout the whole time. It's something I can't quite place, he seems shocked but then something creeps across his features that resembles guilt and pain, a lot of pain.

“You don't have to feel sorry..” I say to him, holding his hand as he starts breathing unevenly “ He's a monster.. but when I'm with you I feel safe, I'm so lucky to have you.”  
As soon as those words leave my mouth, something strange happens.

His eyes start glistening with tears as his whole body starts shaking, until he falls apart in front of my eyes. Seeing him like this it's awful, it's like watching a dam bursting and it breaks my heart completely.  
“Connor...” It wasn't my intention to upset him like this, it's past.. I will get over it somehow, he can help me getting over it.

“Con...” My hands cup his face but he pulls away, covering his face with his own hands. Hearing him crying like this, literally destroys me. “Connor, what's wrong?”

He finally lower his hands, looking at me with the most destroyed expression I've ever seen on his face. Finally his lips part and after letting out a short intake of breath he says. “Jude... that day..." He takes a deep breath before saying. "It was me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (We're heading towards the end.. Bear with me plz)  
> *I've edited the bedroom part.*
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. chapter 17.

Connor's pov.

 

Jude doesn't reply. He just looks at me impassively for few endless seconds.

“Jude?” He finally blinks, snapping back into reality.

“It was you.” he breathes out, like to make it clear that he heard correctly.

“Yes.” He nods, still very calmly, before shifting further away from me.

“Y-you've known who I was this whole time?” His sharply cold voice makes me flinch. I'm not sure I've ever heard his voice so detached, not even when we used to hate each other.

“No.. Jude, I swear.” He's looking at me with narrowing eyes, full of distrust. “ I swear.. I would never lie to you about something like this.”

I can feel my eyes glistening with tears.

“Jude...” He slaps my hand away, glaring at me. “Please.. don't.”

He sits up and I immediately sitting up too, next to him.

“Jude.. Jude, look at me.” He doesn't. He keeps staring blanky into space.  
“I met him a week before that happened.. I was sitting at the club, sipping drinks when he approached me.. we talked..” I feel my throat getting dry as the words get stucked in my throat like a knot.

“Did you know he was engaged ?”His harsh voice cuts me off , He looks over at me for a brief moment just because he knows that I can't lie to him, not if he's looking at me like that.

I close my eyes, letting out a deep breath. “Yes.” Even though I keep my eyes closed, because I can't bear with the look of disappointment on his face, I can clearly hear him breathing heavily.  
“Go.” His voice is ice cold, hitting me in the worst kind of way, hurting me like a stab in my heart.  
I open my eyes and he looks at me in the same detached way, his eyes filled with disgust.

“I-I.. Jude, I'm sorry.”  
He laughs bitterly as he stands up , turning his back towards me.

“You both disgust me.” He breathes out, as he wipes at his eyes. “Please go..” He notices that I'm not moving from my spot so he turns around after a while, looking at me in disbelief.

“I said go! ” He raises his voice as he takes a few steps towards me with a desperate expression on his face.

“Jude. What happened.. it's in the past, I didn't even know it was you until few minutes ago! ” My voice sounds desperate and pleading as I try to make him listen, to make him understand ; He shakes his head as a bitter laugh escapes his mouth.

“ He disgusts me because God knows what that bastard put me through! But you... You knew he had someone, you knew he was engaged and still.. you...” He groans, running his hands through his hair.

“Please.. Don't make this harder than it already is. Just go.”

“It was just a mistake...” he keeps cupping his face with his hands, hiding his sobs and I just can't stand it anymore. I stand up, reaching out for him and hugging him tightly to my chest.

“Jude.. please.” He fights, pushing me away as tears run down his face. The sight is too painful for my eyes.

“I need some time.” He whimpers as he pulls away from me, still avoiding my eyes

“You just need to trust me.” He snorts, shaking his head.  
“That's the point, Connor.” He says as he looks blankly into my eyes. “I'm not sure if I can trust you.”

He doesn't flinch, he wants me gone.. out of his house, and maybe out of his life. I can't do anything more than just appeasing his request at this point.

He leads me to the front door, keeping it open for me. I step outside, facing him and feeling an awful feeling spreading through my chest at the thought of losing him.

“Jude..” I don't care how desperate I sound, I just don't want this to be over. It can't be over.

“Connor you're not helping, please..” He looks at me with tired, pleading eyes. “.. Go home.”

“Jude.. I-” His eyes widen , letting out a short intake of breath.

Realizing what I was going to say I suddenly bit my tongue deciding to turn around, heading towards the elevator. It wouldn't be fair or special saying it like this, not to him and not me.

I know that I love him, and I know that we'll get through this.. I just hope he knows it too.

 

As soon as I step outside of the building I find someone quite familiar, leaning against my car.

“Hello Connor.”

My breath catches in my throat at the sound of his voice as anger rise up from the pit of my stomach.

“Gabriel..” He laughs.

“Nice to see you, how have you been?”  
I push him off my car as he lets out an amused laugh.

“Cut the crap, Gabriel and disappear from my sight.” He laughs again, I want to smash his face in this moment. “ Right now.”

He shakes his head in fake disappointment as he approaches me, side hugging me like we're old pal.

“Get off me.”  
“Oh... I didn't remember you being so rude.” I push him off me and he lays once again against my car door, keeping me from leaving.  
“Fuck off, Gabriel!” The rising pitch in my voice indicates that it's better for him to just evaporate, like in this very moment.

“ He broke up with you, didn't he?”

“keep calm, Connor.. keep calm.” I close my eyes enhaling and exhaling as furious rage is boiling inside of me.

“I paid him a visit just before you showed up.” My eyes snaps open looking at him as rage is taking over my body. “Leave him alone.”

He snorts “He's not yours. He'll never be.. we're going back together and you'll be crawling back to your rich daddy. It's just a matter of time.” He countered, letting out a mean laugh. This guy is insane..

“See.. that's where you're wrong Gabriel. Jude and I _are_ together.” He exhales as I keep hitting him with the harsh truth. “ He's mine and I'm his.” His face starts to get completely red as he tries not to react.

“I would never hurt him on purporse, You did. That's the difference between you and me. You betrayed him, you pushed him off the st-” He cut me off by giving me a push.  
“Don't you dare! I didn't push him!” Tears start falling over his face as he starts yelling “I didn't mean to hurt him! Never! It was just a mistake! Don't you dare turn me into a criminal, Connor Stevens!”

“Leave Jude alone!”

His eyes widened as he let out all the air filling his lungs by saying. “ _You_ need to leave him alone! Jude is mine, He always will! And if I can't have him, no one will ever have him!”

I honestly feel like a jerk but I can't refrain the amused laugh escaping my lips.

“Do you even listen to yourself?” I ask him with voice filled with pity as I'm approaching him, trapping him against my car's door.

I grab him by the collar of his shirt, feeling my patience draining out; His breath itches as he looks up at me with a terrified expression on his face.

“Here's the thing.. You have two options. I'll let you go away without a scratch, you'll disappear from our lives, I'll never press charges.”

“I'm not afraid of you.” He spits out with voice full of disgust.

“Okay.. here it goes the second option.” I feel my fist clenching as anger finally comes to the surface.

“Oh yeah? and what would that be?” His laugh fades pretty quickly when my fist collides with his face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know someone who will be very pleased with the fist action. LOL  
> Three more chapters left!!


	18. chapter 18.

 

 

Jude's pov.

 

I wanted him out of my house because I couldn't bear the sight of him in front of my eyes.. I got what I wanted, then why it hurts like this?

I'm lying in my bed thinking and thinking all over again as memories, events and feelings are flowing through my mind like a endless stream.

I can't close my eyes; I'm too tired but I can't seem to turn my own thoughts off. It's nearly impossible.

I just want to scream, drain out every single piece of sufference out of my weak body, but nothing comes out.

I keep replaying my conversation with Connor over and over again as the visit from Gabriel keeps haunting my mind.

 

“ _Jude..” He tries to reach out with his hand but I don't allow him. Before it could touch my arm, I've slapped it away._

_He stays still on his spot, looking at me with a pleading expression flashing across his face._

“ _What do you want from me, Gabriel?”My voice comes out edgy and he must have noticed that I'm freaking out._

“ _You.” he replies trying to take a step forward. “I just want you.”_

_I start shaking my head as my whole body is convulsing. Please, Not this again._

“ _You have to let me go..” Now it's his turn to shake his head in denial. I'm aware that this won't be easy._

_He takes my hand as a rush of disgust is running over my skin._

“ _I can't live without you... Jude.”_

_Once.. I wouldn't have lived without him either, I needed him like the air I' was breathing. I couldn't think of a future without him. He was my one and only... but now, everything is changed; My fate is tied to another person and it's time for him to finally let me go._

“ _I'm..” Say it. Just say it. My brain keeps telling me, so I take a deep breath before telling him “I'm in love with someone else.”_

_The truth comes out and his face does this thing like I've just kicked him right in the stomach. I can't quite place what it's flashing across his face; I see anger on the surface combined with regret and guilt, so much guilt._

“ _Gabriel.. Please, if you love me.. “ His eyes lit up as a soft smile appears on his lips. “.. If you love me, you have to let me go.”_

“ _I can't..” he whispers as eyes glisten with tears. It breaks my heart, but really.. what else can I do? I love someone else. This thing.. between me and Gabriel needs closure._

_He looks at me with the most wrecked expression I've ever seen on his face._

“ _I'm so sorry Jude..”_

“ _I know.”  
“I really love you.. I c-can't forgive myself for hurting you.” He sobs as tears keep running over his cheeks. I take a shaky step towards him as he wipes at the wetness underneath his eyes. _

“ _I know you would have never pushed me off the stairs intentionally. I know that, but.. Gabriel, you need to let go.. it's been years, you need to move on with your life as I'm moving on with mine.”_

_He snorts, lowering down his gaze._

“ _I'm seeing someone, I-I have feelings for this person.. please, let me be happy. If you really love me, you have to let me go.”_

_He inhales sharply as He wipes at his eyes and without saying a word he just turns around, disappearing from my sight._

 

The morning after I'm a walking mess. The thought of seeing him and to be stuck in the same place as him, makes my stomach twitch.

“Good morning.” Taylor greets me with a soft smile that quickly fades away when she notices my face.

“Wild weekend?” She guesses, letting out a small laugh. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks Taylor..”  
“Jude.” Her tone is mildly concerned now, looking at me with a serious expression on her face. “Are you okay?”

“I am.” It feels so easy to lie, both to Taylor and myself. Truth to be told.. I'm feeling worse than yesterday, now that I've kind of processed things.. It hurts like hell, I'm feeling like someone ripped off vital organs out of me.

I'm heading towards my desk when Connor walks past me, heading towards his office in a rush.

“Good morning.” My voice comes out feeble and hard to hear, but he does. He turns around and my mouth falls open, letting out a worried gasp.

“What happend to your face?” My first instinct is to reach out to him and touch soothingly the dark bruise underneah his eye, but then I stop dead in my tracks as the most recent events hit me like a cold shower.

He shrugs, lowering down his gaze. “You don't have to worry about him anymore.” He says as my heart is skipping beats.

“W-what?” I've heard him, very clearly.. but still, I can't believe he just said that. It must be a joke.

“He made it very clear..” He mumbled, still not looking at me. “It's over, Jude.”

“Y-you beat him up?” I know I should lower down my voice but I can't help it. My eyes are flashing red as anxiety is creeping through me. Did he seriously do that? He nods, finally lifting up his eyes. “Please.. say something.” I realize that I'm just powerless to speak in this moment. my head is spinning, I need to sit down.

I lean against my desk as my chest lifts and falls again, letting out deep trembling breaths. I look at him and he's still standing in his spot, his gaze fixed on the floor as shame and guilt are flashing across his features.

“I-I don't really know what to say.” He looks up, looking even sadder. “ Should I feel flattered that you beat someone up for me?” He stares at me defeatingly. “Have you done that because of what I've said, maybe Hoping that this somehow would have made things better?”

“No.” He spits out with a defensive tone in his voice “Of course not.”

“Maybe it's not clear to you why I need some time to think!” I say to him, unaware of my edgy tone. There are people staring but at this point I don't give a crap and as far as he's concerned, Neither does he.

“What you've done goes against every fiber of my moral, Connor Stevens.” His lips are parting, ready to reply but my harsh voice cuts me off. “Do you even realize that? ”

This whole conversation is draining me out, and it's only 9 AM. I can't deal with this pain every single day. I can't bear this sufference any longer.

“Maybe for you this was just a game... ” I know I'm blabbering and I'm painfully aware I don't mean any single word coming out of my mouth, but the vomit of incoherents words won't stop and the unrational part of me wants him to be just as hurt as I am.

“It's not!” He cries out as his eyes start wetting with unleashes tears,. “It's never been a game for me!”

“I-I can't do this anymore. I can't work like this. I- "

“Connor?” we both turn around.

My eyes widen widely as my breath comes out through shallow puffs of air.  My whole body is shaking as Adam Stevens is approaching us with a quizzical expression on his face.

“Hey Dad..” Connor breathes out, cracking a strained smile. “What's going on?” He asks, clearing his throat as Adam's gaze is costantly shifting from Connor's eyes to mine.  
“ We need to talk.” He says with an authoritative tone in his voice, gesturing towards Connor's office. “Right now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters left!!! :D


	19. chapter 19.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ......... and...... one left. *prepares the speech* LOL

Jude's pov.

 

The door of his office closes behind them as the slamming sound of it echoes throught the whole room, making me jump.

 _Breathing._ I'm try to.. but it's hard. The constricting weight on my chest is unbearable and it makes me feels like my airway is completely blocked.  
My eyes sting by the unleashed tears threatening to fall down. It only takes a second, indeed, and they miserably start falling over my cheeks. Mariana steps into the room, rushing towards me with worry flashing across her eyes, when she notices that I'm shaking.

“Jude?” I try to wipe the tears off my face as fast as I can, but the flushed cheeks and the irregular breathing are easily giving it away. She cups my face, looking into my eyes. “What happened?” her voice is filled with genuine concern and that doesn't help my case, at all, on the contrary; It makes me cry harder. She wraps her arms around me, pulling me in a bone-crushing hug.

“Hey...” She whispers, drawing soothing circles on my back. “It's okay.. Don't cry. It will be okay. Connor loves you so much.”  
My eyes widen as my pulse is speeding up. I feel ache all over my body “ Oh Mariana..”  
“I hear you. I really do.” She sighs, tightening her grip around me as she starts blabbering about the struggling that is dealing with a long distance relationship.

“I had a boyfriend once and he had to move away.. it was awful, but..” _Wait... what?_

“... it's okay, Connor loves you, you love him. You'll make it work.” She concludes, pulling away.

She's smiling at first, but her smile quickly fades when she notices the look on pure panic across my pale face. I feel like my legs are giving out once again as my pulse speeds up. “What are you talking about, Mariana?” _He's leaving?_

For the first time since I've met her, she's speechless as she keeps looking at me with wide eyes at the realization that I still haven't gotten the memo.

“Um.. My dad.. “ She sighs, stuttering throught the whole thing. “Mariana.. “ My tone is desperate and irritated. “Just say it.”  
She exhales sharply before dropping the big news. “My father is opening a new branch in Tokyo.”  _Tokyo._ The memory of the phonecall with Connor's father while I.. kept distracting him, makes my heart ache. I know what she's going to say next, I know how much pain the following words coming out of her lips are going to cause me; it doesn't make any easier to hear them thought.

“ Dad wants Connor to run the business over there.” She hugs me once again when I'm leaning with my hands gripping the edge of my desk, fearing the moment when my legs would have caved.

“Oh Jude... I thought you knew, I'm so sorry..” She sobs.  
“It's okay, Mariana.”

She pulls away, wiping at the wetness underneath my eyes. “It's not..” She insists. “ You two will be okay, you'll get through this.”

I can't control the humorless laugh escaping my lips. “That's the problem, Mariana..” She gasps, holding my hands. “I don't think we'll make it through it. It's extremely hard to put all your trust in someone's hands just standing few feets away from each other....let alone with the Pacific Ocean keeping us apart.”

“You'll-” She's going to say once again that our bond is strong and we're gonna make it, We're gonna survive, but My shaky voice cuts her off. “It's not that simple, Mariana.” I lower down my gaze, unable to look in her eyes, well aware of the pain running all over my bones as I say. “Maybe me and Connor are not meant to be together.”

“W-what no.. Jude.” her lips part but she quickly cut it off when the door across from us is slowly opening ; Connor and his dad comes out of the office and the first thing I notice is his gaze locked with mine.

I feel my heart skipping beats and despite everything.. I'm gonna miss him, so much. The thought of his warm lips running over my skin, his gorgeous laugh awakening my senses, his addictive smell that just hunt my dreams.. the thought of him, not being here is literally killing me. I love him, so much... The thing is that the biggest part of me is still scared of getting hurt again. I can't go through that again, it would destroy me, for good this time.

His father smiles at him, hugging him tightly right in front of our eyes. I lower down my gaze as Mariana is subtly holding my hand. My grip on her hand inconsciously tightens when Adam says. “I'm very proud of the mature, caring man you've become.”

“Thanks Dad.” Connor replies, stealing glances at me. His eyes looks so tired and deprived of its light as his voice seems lacking of enthusiasm; He should be happy, he'd worked so hard throughout all these years to get to this moment. It should be the happiest moment of his life, then why this looks like a death sentence to him?

Adam steps forward and I feel a rush of anxiety running underneath my skin when he makes eye contact with me. “Make sure everyone is attending the meeting at 7 PM in the conference room.” He looks briefly at Connor, before adding. “ I have some news to share with my stuff.” _News._ It almost makes me snort.

“Yes sir. ”

Adam leaves after that and Connor crawls back into his office without saying a word, leaving me still bewildered by the news and well aware that tonight, at 7PM , everything would have changed.

 


	20. chapter 20.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're here........ :) I hope y'all like this chapter and thanks for sticking up with me throughout this wild ride :D Enjoy!  
> PS: I decided to add some lines from the song: "I look to you" By Whitney Houston because I wrote this chapter listening to that song and It's been very inspiring :)  
> See you all at the end of the chapter.

Jude's pov.

 

We're all quietly gathered in the huge conference room waiting for _The Stevens_ to show up. There's Taylor sitting at my side, looking as confused as every one else by the short notice meeting.

“We're going to get fired, isnt' it?” She asks with fear filling her voice. I shake my head, unable to answer. I mean, I know the answer, I just don't need a reminder of the reason why we're all sitting here, today.

Adam steps in the room, followed by Jesus, Mariana and Connor. My breath catches in my throat when he looks briefly at me, before sitting next to his dad.

“I've gathered you here because I want to share with all of you this amazing news.” Not so amazing, but still, keep going Adam. Cut the crap. I give a quick glance at Connor and he's looking absently at his phone. The sight makes me frown in confusion; this is the most important moment of your career and.. is he... is he playing Candy crush?

“Are you okay?” Taylor murmurs, leaning towards me.

“Uh?”

“You're staring at Mr. Stevens like he has three heads.”

I try to give my complete attention to Adam's speech, he looks so proud and satisfied as he talks about his success and his achievements throughout the years..

“.. Family is everything. I feel like without family we're nothing but lifeless body. We start our journey as newborn, growing up through our parents love and affection, Then we grow up and it's time to create our own family.” Adam sighs with melanchony filling his voice, he's getting emotional.

“I Wouldn't be here without the help and support of my family.” He says, gesturing towards Jesus, Connor and Mariana.

“That's why, I wanted my son Connor to run the new Affiliate in Tokyo.” Everyone gasps in surprise and starts clapping, while some of them -like Taylor- are just letting out a sigh of relief.

I would show my support too, because despite everything if this is something he've always dreamed of he really should pursue his dream, but something really caught my attention. _'Wanted?'_

Connor clears his throat as his father gestures him to stand up next to him.

He looks a nervous wreck as his chest is lifting heavily, letting out deep breaths. After a full minute of struggling, his father is side hugging him, pulling Connor against his side.

“My son.. declined my offer.” I suddenly feel my lungs deprived of air, I don't understand.. why would he do that!  
“I was a bit disappointed at first, but, like I said, love and family is what makes us feel alive and Nothing is more important than that.”

My mouth falls open, letting out a short intake of breath when I lift up my eyes and I catch Connor staring at me. Adam's words starts flowing through my mind, hitting me right in the chest.

This is not possible.. it can't be. He gave up on his dream, on his hard sacrifices, on a bright future.. all of it, For me.

“... this is why, Jesus will take over Connor's job at the new branch. Congratulation.”

Everything happening around me feels like blurry. The whole room starts spinning as everything goes in slow motion. The voices, the cheerful air, the people moving and clapping.. it's all blurred. Just one thing, I notice, is clear like air; Connor's burning gaze in my direction.

“Jude?” Taylor asks with a frown on her face. “Jude.. you're shaking.”

“I-I'm okay.. I just need to..” Taylor keeps looking at me with worried and dilated eyes as I'm standing up from my seat. “I-” I hear myself letting out a distressful groan before turning around, giving up on every attempt of explaining why I'm pale, shaking and overwelmed with contrasting feelings flowing through my head, as I'm heading out of this building.

 

 

_Winter storms have come  
And darkened my sun  _

 

“Fuck.” I find myself dripping wet as I'm walking down the sidewalk, towards my apartment.

As I'm running under the rain, there's only one thing haunting my thoughts and of course it's _him_ , I'm not even surprised.

Since the first moment we kissed, Every morning there's only one name streaming through my mind like an endless loop. _Connor. Connor. Connor._

I...Fuck, I can't even think about the damage I've done: he gave up on an amazing opportunity just Because I'm too wrapped in my past to give him a concrete chance. We've all done stupid things throughout our whole life, I've done stupid things. People makes mistakes but some people change and try to fix those mistakes and what Connor has done to prove it to me, it's incredibly stupid, reckless and.... something that no one would have done for me.

 _Shit._ I need to talk to him. Right now.

 

_After all that I’ve been through  
Who on earth can I turn to _

 

I turn around at the last second, risking to be run over by a lady on a bike, before heading towards Connor's place.

In this moment I don't care about the pouring rain that's wetting me from head to toe, or the fact that I'm running so fast that I'm seriously risking to be run over by cars – and yes they seem pretty mad at me- one of them called me asshole and maybe I am.. I am an asshole, I'm not even know what I'm going to say to him when he will open the door and we'll be standing across from each other, I just.. need to see him.

The sight of his building makes me smile warmly, and with that same smile I'm heading inside, stepping in the fancy elevator.

I run my hand through my wet hair, letting the droplets of rain falling on the floor. I'm soaked, and not in a filthy, conventional way.

The moment I'm standing outside of his door, I'm waiting few minutes before actually ringing the doorbell. It feels like my whole body is freezed. Fear is controlling my whole body, Legs shaking, pulse speeding, heart beating.

“I can do this.” My trembling hands finally reach to the doorbell.

“I can do this..” I keep repeating this like a mantra, inhaling and exhaling sharply while I'm waiting for him to open the door.

The moment he opens the door, I feel like my heart stop functioning for few, endless seconds.

 

_I look to you_

 

He looks at me with wide eyes, his lips parting in surprise and his eyebrow furrowing in confusion.

“Jude.” His voice sounds low and hoarse and it makes my heart ache.  
_Breathe.. breathe._ Finally my heart starts beating again , I let out a sharp intake of breath feeling my throat dry and sore.

“Why would you do that?” I shake my head, his decision still seems unreal to me.  
“Why do you think I would do that?” He replies, lowering down his gaze. “I couldn't get away from you.”

He lift up his eyes and at the same time his hand lifts towards my face, pushing the wet hair off my forehead. The gentle touch, makes my eyes close as my heart is threatening to burst out of my chest.

“You gave up on an amazing opportunity, it was what you've always dreamed of.” _Please.. don't give up all of that for me._

He steps closer, the proximity makes me feel like I'm going to melt in a puddle right here on his threeshold, as his hand starts caressing my cheek.

“Finding you is what I've always dreamed of.” My eyes snap open, tickled by the unleashed tears.

He cups my face, looking straight into my eyes as his voice fills my heart.

“Jude..I love you.”

 

 _After all my strength is gone_ _  
_ _In you I can be strong_

 

“I Love you.” He says it again, like a reminder that it's all true, that I'm not dreaming,that my happy ending has always been here, in his arms.

I'm not even aware of the happy tears falling over my cheeks, not until his thumb is gently wiping them off.

“I- I love you too, Connor.” My hand tangles into his sandy hair, pulling him closer.. I need to feel him against me, I need to feel his heart beating as fast as mine.

I let out a sigh when His arms are wrapping around my waist, his eyes locked on mine, this moment is absolute perfection.

“I love you.” He breathes out against my lips before I can't wait one more second and the gap between us is finally closed.

 

_After losing my breath  
There’s no more fighting left  _

 

He pulls me inside of the apartment, stepping over the threshold while our lips are still sealed against each other. The urge to kiss him, feel him, love him is making me lose my mind.

“Jude.” He moans, pinning me against the closed door. His mouth is running over my neck as he's getting rid of my soaked clothes.

“Love you.” My voice comes out shaky and low caused by His hands and his mouth addictive touch; The feeling of his fingertips running over my ribs, his lips closing around my nipple sucking gently and his hair tickling my stomach is too much overwelming.

“Connor..” It's impossible for me to refrain a moan, not when he's dropping on his knees wrapping his mouth around my dick.

He moans, closing his eyes as he sucks gently, savouring the moment. He's making it last as long as he wants, setting the pace and dragging it out until I'm begging for release.

He stands up, holding my hand and dragging me towards his bedroom. I sadly take note that he's still completely dressed in his pijama pants (and chest rigorously naked, but it's only a detail) but as soon as we step into the room, I make sure it's not a problem anymore.

He closes his eyes, letting out breathless pants as soon as I'm pulling down his pants, cupping his erection and savouring it with my tongue.

“Jude.. fuck.” His hand running through my hair, caressing the strands until he roughly grabs me by the back of my neck, pulling his dick even deeper into my throat.

“Oh.. fuck.” He moans, pulling my head up and down until my dick is so hard that driplets of come are leaking from the head and falling on the floor.

“Love your mouth.. “ Connor pants, pulling out his erection out of my mouth as his fingertips are gently caressing my cheek. “Love **you**.. so much.”

“I love you too.” I stand up on my shaky legs, lacing my arms around his neck. “I missed you.”  
He smiles, lifting me up by my tighs. My legs are wrapped around his waist as he carries me to his bed.

 

 _“Take me far away from the battle_  
_I need you_  
_Shine on me”_

 

 _T_ he moment my back lands on his mattress, I pull myself up on my elbows and I'm pushing him on his back. He moans when I climb on top of him, connecting our lips.

The moment our leaking erections touch, he lets out a loud moan quickly muffled by my tongue moving inside of his mouth.

His hand move downward, resting on my tighs as he tries to lift up with his hips, seeking for friction.

“Jude.. Fuck, baby.”  
His hand tangles behind my neck, pulling me down on him. His lips move insistently against mine and his tongue darts out to lick and bite on my lips, eliciting some deep moans out of my throat.

“Can't get enough of you.” He moans when my hand wraps around his erection, swelling  into my fist.

When he decides I've tortured him enough with my tongue - licking the sweat running over his skin, and the unbearable urge- need to touch as much of a skin as I possibly can is fullfilled -He lets out a groan of frustration, lifting up on his elbows and pushing me off his body, falling with my back on his bed.

He gets up from the bed and despite the unpleasant feeling caused by the loss of his warm body on me, I can't avoid to notice the perfection of his ass as a guttural sound of appreciation escapes from my lips.

“No...Please, come back.” He smiles, noticing the direction of my gaze, as he grabs the lube and he lays back on the bed. He pushes his fingers inside of me as he leans down, kissing me on the lips. I can't help but close my eyes, savouring the magic work of his fingers moving inside of me and the sensational feeling of his lips never leaving mine.

“Fuck.” He touches a particular spot inside of me, close to my prostate and I see stars behind my eyelids.

“Oh, fuck Connor.” He smiles against my neck, laying soft kisses behind the shell of my ear.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

It's like impossible for us to not say that. I can't help myself but moan how much I love him, need him, treasure him.

He pulls out his finger and I feel myself shivering in anticipation of what comes next.

“Get inside.. hurry, Connor. Hurry.”  
He laughs, pulling himself on his knees, before finally pushing his dick deep inside of my hole.

“ohh.....”  
It's insane how much I missed this closeness, this warmth, this love. He lowers down on my body, kissing me like his life depends on it as he pushes further inside.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes... keep going, please.”

He nods, looking at me in the eyes. It's really hard for me to keep my eyes open because the pleasure he's giving me is making me feel like thousand electric shocks are running through my body, but I'm really trying to look at him, to keep my eyes on his beautiful, hazel eyes; So sincere and full of love, for me. Only me.

His thrusts become erratic and I hear myself giving a distressful sigh, because I feel it coming.. and I don't want it to end, I want to keep feeling like this: Loved ,mindless and on the edge of lust.

“Fuck.. I'm almost there.” Connor groans as droplets of sweats are running down his forehead.

“I know..”

His hand run downwards, wrapping around my erection. He strokes me at the same pace of his thrusts until my sight becomes blank behind my eyelids and my body trembles and writhes underneath him.

He groans, hiding his face in the crook of my neck as he comes.

“Oh God.” He pants, breathing heavily against my skin. His chest lifting up and falling down as he inhales and exhales sharply, laying kisses on my cheeks and lips.

It takes a while to recover from the aftermath, we keep laying wrapped in each other arms until our breathing slow down and our eyes finally snap open.

“Hey..” he smiles, stroking his fingertips across my collarbone.

“Hey you..” My voice sounds so wrecked and drained out as He gets off me. He lays on his back next to me as his arms fall open and he pulls me against his side, my face is pressed against his chest, hearing the pounding sound of his heartbeats.  
We cuddle quietly in our nest for few minutes, just hearing each other's breathing and heartbeats. I wish this moment would never end, I don't want to let this go, never.

“I'm sorry.” Connor apologizes, lifting up my hand and kissing my knuckles.

“About what?” My eyes lifts up and my heart starts aching when he's looking at me with a sad expression flashing across his eyes. I don't want him to be sad, not after the most beautiful, passionate, unforgettable, love making session in the love making history.

I raise my hand, resting in on his cheek. “Connor?” He closes his eyes, leaning into my touch.

“I'm sorry about everything I put you throught, with the Gabriel thing.”

“Look.. I'm not gonna lie to you. These two days have been the most intense days of my life. Everything happened so fast and it was really overwelming. You made a mistake, it's okay. It was hard for me to put my trust on you, after what you did.. and I know isn't gonna be easy and we'll find obstacles ahead of us, but I realized that I just want to fight them with you rather than against you. Like a wise girl said 'We'll make it through.' “

He nods as a wide smile is spreading on his lips, the sight makes me feel lightheaded. I'm snuggling closer to his chest, listening to his heartbeat when he says. “I told my father.. about us.”

I feel my whole body freezing. “Oh..” He nods, laying a kiss on my head. “What did he say?”

Connor let out a giggle before saying. “That Mariana is not as skilled as she thinks when it comes to delete surveillance videos.”

“Oh my God..” my face is completely red in a matter of seconds, thinking about Adam's face looking at one particular video of a certain hook up, in the elevator..

“It's okay.” Connor laughs “He wasn't mad. He just wants me to be happy.” his fingertips starts running on my arms, creating goosebumps in its wake. The feeling makes my whole body numb.

“Yeah?” my eyes close as I'm snuggling closer to his warm body. His arms wrap around me even tighter and I ask him “Are you happy?”

He nods as he closes his eyes. He lets out a peaceful sigh, before laying a kiss on my forehead.

“I am now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... is this thing on? *Clears her throat as she taps on the microphone*  
> Okay.. here we go... :) I have to say, I'm not even aware yet that this is over.. it feels like the last episode of our favourite tv show and you're like: "this can't be the end.. it can't be it." Complete denial XD I feel like this tbh.  
> Thank you for everyone commenting and leaving kudos! Seriously, I loved every single comment of every one of you and I will forever remember this fic because:  
> 1- It has my first (explicit) smut scene XD  
> 2- I really liked how it helped improving my writing skills and since I'm italian is something I'm really proud of xD For me is an achievement.  
> 3- Will always remember the aftermath on twitter about chapter 16 XD It was 1 AM and we were discussing the importance of Connor being a proud top AHHAHA I will never forget this.  
> 4- last but one of the most important point of this list : I've met some amazing people through this website. :) So thank you from the bottom (no pun intended for the ch16 reference, I promise) of my heart :D

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter on: En_sky9  
> 3B never happened.


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